Troubles Of My Life ✔️

Choices

So high up
Higher than the clouds
You know its not for me
I like it on the ground

So high up
Covering the sea
Painting walls on everything
Your picture used to be

And you can't help yourself from dying in this town
Just too much to figure out

I know you'll never figure out

I've watched you crash and burn a thousand times again
I know that smile you wear is waiting for the end
I see you sitting in the dark scared
But I know you never really fight fair
You know you never fight fair

So twisted
Your aggravated scheme
Spend hours living from the screen

And you won't stop yourself from crying when you fall
Now you've got nothing at all
And this is all I think about

I've watched you crash and burn a thousand times again
I know that smile you wear is waiting for the end
I see you sitting in the dark scared
But I know you never really fight fair
You know you never fight fair

You know you never fight fair I'm tired of throwing out the shadows in your past
Would you just give yourself a chance

I know you'll never figure out

I've watched you crash and burn a thousand times again
I know that smile you wear is waiting for the end
I see you sitting in the dark scared
But I know you never really fight fair
You know you never fight fair

You know you never fight fair
--------

I get home from the beach and go straight into my room. I sit down on the end of my bed and I look and see the toys I have and start crying again as I realise I will never watch someone grow up with them, I won't get to do all the things I had planned for my future.
I hear a knock on the door and look up and see Casey standing there. I stop crying and say "you can come in if you want"
She walks over and sits on the bed and asks "how are you going?"
I say "alright I guess, I'm start to realise what it all means for me and I am starting to make some choices"
She nods and I ask "if you don't mind me asking why were you not surprised over losing your baby"
She says "it's fine, I have a medical condition that can cause me to not a baby, I was surprised when I found out I was pregnant as I didn't think it would happen but always wanted a child"
I nod and say "what would you say if I asked you if you would consider adopting my baby"
She says "I would love to but I don't want to be the reason you choose that option"
I smile and say "it's not the only reason, treatment has no guarantees and this way a part of me technically will still live one if when I am gone but it would be your child"
She asks "are you sure about this"
I nod and she says "thank you so much"
We hug and she says "Joe made extra dinner so there is some food if you want it"
I nod and say "thanks"
She asks "are you alright at the moment now"
I nod and say "yeah just thinking about all the things I need or want to do"
She nods and says "let me know if I can help"
I say "thanks, I will"