Someday.

30

Sabrina was quiet all dinner. She occasionally talked to Sarah or her parents. We all finished and I started gathering plates and bringing them to the dishwasher. Sabrina got up and brought her plate over. She scraped it and put it in the dishwasher and went to walk away but I grabbed her arm. She winced. I dropped whatever was in my other hand and grabbed her sleeve. "No P-" I pulled it up to see three fresh cuts. I pulled her out into the hallway. "What did I tell you?!" I whispered harshly through gritted teeth. I let a few tears escape my eyes. She wouldn't look at me. "What did I tell you?" I said. "Not to do it again." She whispered. "Why did you?" I whispered. "I- I needed relief." I pulled her sleeve down and put my head in my hand. "Don't be mad." She whispered. "Don't be mad, Yea. No I'm the reason for this Sabrina. I'm no good for you."
"No Peyton. I just can't handle it sometimes okay?" She whispered. "Give it to me. The razor or blade or whatever. Give it to me." I said. I stared at her. "It's upstairs." She said. "By the time I'm done loading everything into the dishwasher it should be in my pocket." I said. I walked back into the kitchen and started clearing plates. I brought them back to the dishwasher and loaded everything. I felt someone tap my arm. I turned to see Sabrina. She handed me a single blade. I looked at it and held my hand out she gave me her arm and I rolled her sleeve. Nothing new. I kissed her head and put the blade in my pocket. She wrapped her arms around me and I did the same. I felt her start to cry. "It's alright." I said. "It's all okay." She hid behind me and wiped her eyes before putting some of the dishes on the counter in the dishwasher. I walked over to the table and grabbed the rest of the stuff. "Why is your shirt wet?" Sarah asked. I looked down and saw that my shirt was in fact wet. "Oh. Probably water." I said covering up.

Once I finished cleaning I sat back down at the table but in Sabrina's spot. "I'm going to kill you later." I heard Sarah whisper. "She told you?" I asked. "Uh when she walks in the door red as a tomato and rushes into her room I had to assume you did something." I sighed. "Sarah I didn't-"
"You saw her. And then you guys got caught." I nodded my head. "Where is she anyways?" She asked. "To be honest I don't know." I said standing up. I opened the back door and went outside onto the porch. I sat down on the steps.

The door opened a few minutes later. "I'm sorry." I heard him say. I turned around and saw dad. "I'm not very happy with you." I said. He sat down next to me. "I know. I heard you punched a wall." He said. "Yea. Not the New Years Eve I was expecting." I said. "Look just let me and your mom ta-" The door opened and we turned around. It was Sabrina. Immediately red. "Uh I'll ju-" My dad shook his head. "Come on." She reluctantly walked over. "On behalf of Mrs. Meyer and I, I would like to apologize about this afternoon. We did not mean to cause embarrassment or uncomfortableness. But at the same time you two -He pointed at us.- need to chill out. I'm trusting both of you. We are sorry Sabrina." He touched her arm and walked away and her eyes were closed.

"What's up buttercup?" I asked. She fiddled with her hands. "I- I need my blade back." She whispered. I shook my head. "No." She walked down the stairs. "Please. I don't need it for that. But I need it."
"No." I said harsher. I brought it out of my pocket. It came from a razor. "People use this to shave. Not to sink into their skin." I said. "Peyton." I looked at her. "Please. If my parents notice a razor stick without a razor blade they are going to know." I shook my head. "No." I put it back in my pocket. You're not my dad Peyton. Give it back." I stood up. "I'm not your dad I'm your boyfriend!! And I'm not going to give your blade back so that you can go and shove it in your skin again!! I'm not going to give you the opportunity to kill yourself Sabrina!! Incase you haven't noticed I love you and I want you here, even if you don't want to be!!" I yelled. She was looking past me. "Thanks Peyton." She walked around the side of the house and disappeared from view. I turned around and saw our parents. They know. Her mom was crying. Her dad looked angry. My parents looked sad. I cried. I silently cried. "I don't know what to do anymore." I said. They looked inside for a second then turned back to me. "It will get easier." Her dad said. "Really? Because this is living hell. I'm ruining her." I said to them. "PEYTON!!" I heard faintly. I back up and saw Sarah open her window. "YEA I KNOW! YOU ARE GOING TO KILL ME!! I GET IT!! HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE. I'M OUT OF HERE!" I walked around the side of the house and unlocked my car. I looked at Sabrina's window and then the front door opened. I looked to see Sarah running outside. "Dont leave!" She yelled. "Why? I exposed her secret. She hates me. She doesn't want me here. You know today she said to me that she was going to marry me. Now she doesn't even want me." I opened my door. "Peyton! Please. Just come inside." She begged. I sighed and closed my door. I followed her inside. She pulled me upstairs. We walked past Sabrina's room and she attempted to pull me into hers. I stopped when I saw Sabrina inside. She looked at me pleadingly. I got out of her grip and she walked in. Sabrina turned around, when she saw me she stopped. I stood in the doorway. "Help me." She said. She broke me. I took a step inside her room and she walked up to me. "I didn't mean to tell them." I whispered. She looked at me in the eyes. "Help." I wrapped her in my arms. She started crying and I picked her up and carried her back into her bedroom. I sat her on her bed and changed into my other clothes. I sat down beside her and rested my head against the wall. She curled into my side and I rolled up her sleeve, and ran my fingers over her cuts. I intertwined our legs and watched as she slowly fell asleep.

I stayed awake until midnight watching her sleep. It will all get better. I promise.