A Little Unsteady (A Grey's Anatomy Story)

We Did Everything We Could

"Alex how the hell did you get UNOS to offer up a heart so quickly?" I asked in surprise as we stood outside the OR, preparing to scrub in

"As soon as I told them her history and her age they had no choice but to put her top of the list. She's 6 years old Jamie, she has her whole life ahead of her, and because shes young, she's a lot stronger than most people on that list and there's less of a chance of her rejecting the heart. When they bumped her to the top of the list a heart became available soon after" Alex explained, his passion for his job became evident in these moments, it was one of the reasons why I fell for him

I nodded in recognition and followed him into the scrub room. As soon as we finished we made our way straight into the OR where Katie was lying, prepped and ready. We didn't have long to wait until the heart arrived and we began working on Katie. It was a tough one, her body was so weak from the last procedure we struggled to keep her holding on but she made it through and her heart was as good as new.

The procedure took almost 7 hours and we were exhausted. I left the OR and decided to go to the nearest on call room. All the rooms were full on the OR floor so I found myself roaming the halls until I stopped on a familiar floor.

"Hello my darling fiancé" I sing-songed dramatically

"Oh hey Jamie" Arizona blushed when she heard what I called her "It's going to take me a while to get used to that one" she beamed as she pulled me in for a hug

"You've got 6 months babe and then I'm calling you my wife" I husked in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine

"I'm counting down the days" she replied softly

"Congrats on the heart transplant kid! I heard it was a success" Arizona said as I pulled away from her embrace

"Thanks, we got lucky! I'm beat, I'm going to go find a on call room" I said as I began looking around the halls "You can join me if you want" I teased as I wiggled my eyebrows at her

"Go, you need to rest" she chuckled at my suggestiveness

I soon found an empty on call room and threw myself onto the nearest bed. It didn't take me long to fall into a deep sleep as I felt every muscle in my body relax.

I didn't quite know how long I had been asleep for but I awoke in a dark room, my vision blurring slightly as my eyes adjusted to the lack of light. It took me a minute to realize what had woken me until I looked down at my phone on the ground, vibrating loudly against the hardwood floor. I wiped the sleep from my eyes as I picked up the phone to see who was calling, when I noticed the 6 missed calls from Meredith. My phone began to ring once more and I quickly answered it.

"Hey Mer what's up?" I asked, giving a slight yawn

"Jamie can you come to Seattle Pres? I need you" Meredith said with a quiver in her tone

"Mer what's going on? Why are you at Seattle Pres?" I asked concerned, standing up from the bed

"It's Derek, he's been in a accident" Meredith whispered, barely able to say the words

I knew straight away it wasn't good. I left the on call room, ending the phone call with Meredith, reassuring her I was on my way. I ran to the Residents locker room and quickly changed out of my scrubs. I left and made my way to my car as I brought the engine to life and quickly sped away from the car park. It wasn't long before I reached Seattle pres. The hospital was tiny compared to Grey-Sloan and I soon found the Emergency Department, knowing that was where I was likely to find Meredith. And sure enough there she was, waiting by one of the trauma rooms.

"Mer what's going on? What happened to Derek?" I asked, almost out of breath from running the entirety of the hospital

"He-he was driving home from the airport, when he-he s-s-topped to help some people that were in an accident. J-just as he was leaving, there was a-a truck and-" She sobbed hysterically into my shoulder, I knew exactly what happened and there was no need for her to say any more.

We took a seat in the waiting area. As surgeons the hardest thing we can ever face is being able to do absolutely nothing about the situation you're in. We're so used to control, we make sure everything is just as it should be and if it's not then we fix it. So sitting here, waiting, knowing that Derek's in there being worked on by absolute strangers, that's the ultimate form of torture.

They took him up to surgery and one of the doctors informed us that he had a massive head trauma and they needed to operate on him straight away

We sat there for hours with nothing but utter silence, either of us not knowing what to say. After what felt like forever, a surgeon soon emerged and I could tell exactly what he was going to say before the words even left his mouth.

"Mrs Shepherd?" The surgeon asked before approaching us

"Yes" Meredith said as she stood up, trying to pull herself together

"Mrs Shepherd" the surgeon began with a sharp intake of breath "I'm very sorry, we did everything we could but unfortunately Dr Shepherd's head injuries were more extensive than we had previously thought-" The surgeon began to explain but Meredith cut him off before he could continue

"No" she growled "No, this isn't- you can't-" Meredith stumbled through her words before she collapsed in my arms with uncontrollable sobs

I didn't know how to feel. Derek was my mentor. My friend. But most of all he was an amazing husband to my best friend and an excellent father to the children I adored. How the hell was Meredith supposed to come back from this? After everything she'd been through, the one constant light at the end of every dark, nightmare like situation she had faced was Derek. He was always there by her side. How could I be strong enough to pull her through this after everything she had done for me? Right now, all I could do was stand there in silence, holding her and praying to some form of god to give me the strength to help her through this.