There's A Fine Line Between Love And Hate

Chapter Thirty- Searching Lost And Found

So, this is the chapter before the one I've been building up to almost since the very first one. There has been a little bit of foreshadowing in previous chapters, hinting at this. The next chapter will be dark.

If you aren't comfortable reading this, let me know and I can give you a summary of what happens in the chapter. Let me know what you think/what you're expecting to happen.

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Jenna and I walked off of the tour bus, where we had been getting ready for the show. Jenna had insisted on helping do my make up again (thanks to me complaining about the dark circles under my eyes again) and picking an outfit to wear to hide my bump. At just over 4 months pregnant, it was beginning to become noticeable, although thankfully I  could still keep my stomach fairly concealed from most angles. 

However, whenever we were out of the public eye, away from fans and press, I could continue wearing fitted t-shirts and vests. Much to the delight of Josh who loved seeing the bump and would near constantly touch my it.

Whether it would be just stroking the curve of my stomach or hugging myself and the baby, he was almost always touching it. It had gotten to the point where he and Tyler thought it would be hilarious to rub the bump for 'good luck' prior to them running on stage before each show.

Thankfully, the family and crew who knew about the pregnancy were cool with it and found it funny, although I'm not entirely sure the fans would react in quite the same way. Some of them were not particularly happy with anyone involved in Josh and Tyler's love lives.

Between the pre-show ritual and Josh wearing his multicoloured "Dad" vest all the time, someone was bound to work out what was going on sooner or later. It reminded me of the conversation we had just a few days ago.

It was the early hours of the morning again, probably close to half past three. I had been lying in the back lounge on the couch, with my head on Josh's lap, his hand resting on the bump as usual. Everyone else was asleep, but once again, the nausea had kept me awake and Josh refused to sleep alone without me. This had started to become a regular occurrence.

"You know, it feels real. I mean, I know I've said that before, but now, it feels really, really real. As in, there's physical evidence that you are carrying our son, he's not just something that we've talked about."

"Well in a week's time, we'll be halfway through the pregnancy and you'll be halfway to holding your son in your arms.

"I- I can't wait for then." I looked up at Josh, hearing his voice crack a little. His eyes were beginning to water just a little bit.

"Josh, are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just excited about his arrival!" I sat up as quickly as I could, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Yeah, no I'm great. I just can't believe it. This is what I waited so long for. The band is doing great, better than we ever imagined, I have a beautiful partner and we have a child on the way. I just didn't know if it would ever happen to me. I didn't know if I had even deserved it." Josh lifted me onto his lap, holding me close, his chest shaking a little with the emotion he was trying to hold back. He nuzzled softly into my hair.

"Of course you deserve it! You deserve a family and happiness. I promise you that I will try to bring you as much happiness as I can, because I know you're a good person. I don't want you to ever think otherwise Josh."
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I shook my head, trying to clear the recent memory and focus again on Jenna. "So, because this is a festival, am I safe to assume that we'll get to see other bands, right?"

"Sure but why would you want to? You get to see your favourite band every day!" Tyler ran up behind us, hearing our conversation and laughing. Josh walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Hi love, did you get your laminate?" I held up the pass around my neck, showing Josh.

"Yeah, Mark gave Jenna and I the passes earlier. We're ready to explore now! Just be careful you don't expose the bump though!"

Josh moved his arms so they were slung around my shoulders instead. There were press around and eager fans with cameras. It had only been a little while since Josh and I had become official in the public eye (thanks to the photographs that had been uploaded from our trip into Lincoln), we didn't need to be any more exposed already.

Josh kissed the top of my head before checking that my t-shirt hadn't risen over my stomach.

"Did I miss anything while we were getting interviewed?"

"Well, you missed your baby lady telling us that she wanted to see other bands play! Apparently we're not her favourite!" Tyler laughing, refusing to pass up an opportunity to mock me.

"Hey now! You know that's not what Ava meant, there's a couple of bands who she used to work with here." Trust Jenna to be an angel and stick up for me!

We all made our way towards to stage where twenty one pilots would be playing in a short while, ready to begin the stage prep and make sure everything was in order.

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After a fantastic show, we were all excited to be heading back to Ohio, even if only for a short period of time. The thought of sleeping in my own large bed, no more constant moving on the road to help aggravate the nausea that I was still experiencing.

Josh and I were also looking forwards to seeing his family again. Now, that things had calmed down, everyone seemed more comfortable with a new addition to the Dun family- maybe even a little excited. Jordan had even called the other day to see if we needed anything for the nursery that he could get ready before we came home. We had already finished the painting and added a couple of rugs and a toy corner. We had yet to build the crib, the rocking chair or the bookcases.

After our break and some much needed family time, we would continue towards the European leg of the tour.

I couldn't wait to see Nick and some of the others I used to work with while we were in London, allowing me to show of some of my favourite places back home, and to travel to some countries that I hadn't been to before. I knew Jenna and Tyler were both overjoyed to be going back to France- after all, it held great memories for both of them, especially the day they became engaged in Paris.

We had began to walk through the crowds, to get food before heading back to our buses in order to finish packing and preparing for our flights the next day. We had escaped  the busy areas (mostly towards the stage and public access area) as the rain began to fall in thick drops, and we were now in a quiet section backstage where everyone seemed to be keeping to themselves, hiding under umbrellas or covering their heads with their jackets. There were few security guards here and the majority, bar one or two, were stationed either near the entrance or by the buses for safety.

"Ava!" The familiar voice rang in my ears. It wasn't who I thought it was, it couldn't be. I turned slowly until I saw the owner of the voice, shielding my eyes from the heavy rain.

Evan stood mere metres away.

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As always guys, let me know what you think.