There's A Fine Line Between Love And Hate

Chapter Twenty Four- As A Walking Denial

Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that this chapter is ridiculously late! I've been super busy since I came back from holiday and started work again. This is a little bit of a filler, so I'm sorry about that, but hopefully you still enjoy it! Let me know what you think!
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If I ever thought I was nervous about the baby before, I was wrong. I could barely drink water before the doctor's appointment, never mind eat anything. After (what Josh and I considered) a successful night last night, I couldn't help but to feel as if something wasn't quite right. It was like we were just waiting for something to go wrong.

I had slipped out of bed, leaving Josh to sleep as I prepared breakfast for him. I had turned on Spotify, quietly listening to my playlists while I whisked the batter.  Once the pancakes were fully prepped and had begun sizzling in the pan, I heard movement from upstairs.

Shortly after the pancakes had finished cooking, Josh joined me in the kitchen. His pyjama pants hung on his hips, his hair a messy bed head style and a sleepy smile on his face as he rubbed his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful, what are you cooking?" I smiled gesturing to the pans of pancakes and bacon sizzling on the hob. Josh walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around me as I flipped the breakfast over to ensure it was fully cooked.

Josh laid the table as I plated up the food, waiting for him to sit down and enjoy as I sipped a glass of water.

"Ava, please just eat something. You need your strength, we have a big day ahead of us!" Josh coaxed, offering me some of the pancakes I had cooked for him. Even the smell of the pancakes was making me nauseous.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I felt like the start of a fever was coming on. I had been running a higher temperature than normal since last night.

"As much as I would love to honey, I just can't." I could see the frown had begun to etch across Josh's face.

"Is there something wrong with the baby? Are you okay? I can make you a smoothie, Jesse has taught me some really cool recipes?" I sighed, it was sweet that Josh cared, but he was only adding to the overwhelming stress I was feeling. I certainly didnt feel in the mood to start throwing up again.

Once the doctor had confirmed the pregnancy, we wanted to tell Jenna and Tyler. I know, a little bit early, but we needed to work out how Josh and I could both continue to work around things. The sooner, the better. I nodded in reply to Josh's smoothie offer.

Josh shot up immeadiately, leaving a pile of half eaten pancakes on his plate and began throwing all kinds of fruit and veg into the blender. I noted there was frozen raspberries, pineapple chunks, almond milk and spinach, but I couldn't see everything else. Josh poured it into a mason jar rom the cupboard, adding a swirly straw before sprinkling coconut flakes and mint leaves on top. I did have to admit that he was adorable, especially with the care and presentation he put into my drink.

"Here baby, drink up." Josh handed me the glass, I smiled and took a sip. "If you don't like it, I can always make something else, or we can go to Zest?"

"It's delicious and I'm going to drink it all, but I'd still like to go to Zest after we've finished at the hospital." I wasn't just saying that to put Josh at ease, it really was pretty good. Josh agreed that we could stop to get juice after. He insisted on giving me a hand to clean up the breakfast dishes, before we both set about getting ready.

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About half an hour later, we pulled up at the hospital. For the second time in as many days, a wave of panic washed over me and the feeling that this was real hit us again. I could see in Josh's eyes that he was as scared as I was, if not more so. He clutched my hand tightly.