A Necessary Struggle: Fall Semester

Part 41

     Most people couldn't remember the exact moment they got pregnant but Safiya could. As she sat in the waiting room at the OB/GYN's office she reminisced on the moment. A movie night, that's what they agreed on over the phone. In her empty townhouse, popcorn on the coffee table and credits rolling on the TV, it all was going as planned. Until Carter's hand snaked its way under her skirt seeking its home between her thighs. Restraint wasn't a skill Safiya pondered on practicing. She climbed on his lap feeling him swell between her legs as he peeled off her top. He gripped her neck lowering her lips to his surging her with a ravenousness passion only he could vanquish. Melting into his body, he carried her to the nearest room, Alyssa's room.

      A condom was the last thing on her mind, as she lied naked on the bed. Her hungry eyes devoured every inch of Carter's skin: the rigid planes of his chest, the hard arches of his abdomen, and the strength of his thighs. She writhed with an unquenchable lust as his supple lips peppered kisses up her heated skin. With him planted between her legs, his mouth on her breast and his hand massaging her dewy center of pleasure she knew he was the one. As she pleaded for more, she knew he was the elusive one. As he plunged deeper in her walls stroking her core with a steady thrust, she knew he was the only one. As Safiya cried out his name quaking with electrifying pleasure she believed him when he told her she was all he needed.

    "Fucking bastard," Safiya muttered with her eyes trained forward.

     Harmony stopped flipping through the magazine, "What?"

     "Oh." Safiya shook her mind out of her thoughts remembering where she was. "I said fucking bladder. I gotta pee, again." She laid her head against the wall.

    "Go ahead," Harmony told. "If they call you, I'll tell 'em you're in the restroom. They should understand." She glanced at the other pregnant women scattered around.

      "No." Safiya grabbed a magazine off Harmony's lap. "I'll hold it."

       "So, Harmony told me." Ariel dropped the magazine in the empty chair next to her. "And I just have one question." She scooted to the edge of her seat. "How was it?"

        Safiya almost forgot the red head was there. Her mouth twisted as she looked at the girl sitting across from her. The neon green crop top showing off her taut waist and black shirt causing everyone to gawk at her long legs, Safiya was turning greener than The Jolly Green Giant.

      "How was what?" Safiya asked reading the title of the magazine, Motherhood Today.

     Ariel crossed her legs showing way too much of her alabaster thigh, "The sex. Can Professor Sexy, really bone or is he all hype?"

      "You told her!" Safiya swatted Harmony in the chest with the magazine.

      "Ow!" Harmony jerked the magazine away from Safiya and slapped her across the chest.

       Safiya recoiled her shoulders clenching her chest, "I'm tender." She groaned out.

       "Sorry." Harmony patted her friend on the back trying to soothe the pain. "She read it on my phone. She won't tell, though. Will you, Ariel?"

    "Never." Ariel nodded.

"Am I...just suppose to take you at your word?" Safiya started to relax as the pain subsided.

       "Yes." Ariel smiled showing off the benefits of braces. "Scouts honor." She crossed her chest. "If I tell anyone about you and Professor Sexy she'll tell our dad about Sam and I. Which he can't know because he thinks I'm a...mother of Jesus virgin and not a—"

     "A jezebel." Safiya quipped.

     "Rahab." Harmony countered.

       Ariel shook her head, "I was going to say, Delilah." Ariel shrugged. "But those works."

     "Blackmail!" Harmony winked at Safiya. "It works."

       "So." Ariel flipped her hair off her shoulder. "Is he like this." She held her hands close together. "Or like this?" She pulled her hands further apart with a coy smile decorating her face.

      "Safiya Mendoza!" A nurse called down the hallway.

      "Thank God!" Safiya jumped up as fast as her belly would allow her.

      In the back, in the examining room, Safiya watched Dr. Winston rub the warm gel on her perfectly round stomach. She dug her head into the firm bed looking up at the gray ceiling. This was not how she planned it. She clung to Harmony's hand a little tighter trying to keep the tears at bay. She vowed to herself that the next time she got pregnant she would do it right. Walk down the aisle in a white dress, pick out china for family dinners and decorated a nursery with the man of her dreams. The father of her child would be as happy as her to bring a new life in the world that was the amalgamation of everything good in them. 

       Having a married man's baby. Alyssa's words began to play on repeat in Safiya's mind. Bricks crushed Safiya's chest as she remembered she was having Carter's baby. Carter, the man that still possessed her mind and haunted her dreams was married. She felt dirty like she went mud wrestling and skipped out on the shower. A betrayer of all womankind sleeping with a married man; that was her. Safiya Mendoza—home wrecker, husband stealer, mistress. She felt lower than low; the hookworm in the ground low. His wife probably thought he was a good man, staying loyal and true to her as she took care of his kids. He was getting his fill of her then going home to fill his belly with his wife's home cooking. The deceitful, lying, cheating son of bitch's baby was growing inside her.

    Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom. The robust thuds called to Safiya pulling her out of her hole of self-loathing. There was not enough fight in her to hold back the tears. Seeing the image of her baby on the screen, hearing its heartbeat pound through the speaker. Her heart grew faster than the Grinch's. A slow tingle ran across her body erupting joy in her soul.

    "That's your girl!" Dr. Winston elated holding the plastic tool against Safiya's abdomen.

      "My girl?" Safiya placed her hand on her stomach not caring that it was covered in green goo.

      "I'm so sorry!" The doctor fumbled with the machine momentarily forgetting that her patient asked not to know the sex of the baby.

     "No!" Safiya placed her hand that was intertwined with Harmony's against her heart because if she didn't it would bust out of her ribcage. "I'm having a girl! A girl." Disbelief claimed her face.

     Harmony adorned a Kool-Aid smile jumping up and down like she just won an Oscar. "You're having a girl! You're having a girl!" She repeated.

     Safiya's wide eyes leered at the screen watching her baby kick its tiny legs, "I am!" She brushed away the tears pouring over her face. "I'm having a girl!" She brimmed a smile she was sure would make her face hurt later. "My girl! This is my girl."

     As Safiya caressed her body, Alyssa's voice in her mind diminished. Another voice broke through all the pain and heartbreak saying clearly, This is my baby. Not his! 

So, Safiya is having a girl! Should she tell Carter or leave him in the dark?