Castle | b. blake | 2

10.

There are no heroes. No villains. Just people with different agendas.

-Daredevil

10.

I thought we were done when Clarke killed Finn but as it turns out there is a death ritual for murderers in their village. Clarke had agreed and quickly came to me and Bellamy to tell us to come with them. Without question we went. The sun was shinning bright today as we walked to the village the massacre took place.

As we were walking with the grounders and some of our people, I look ahead to see Clarke as white as can be, as if she has seen a ghost. It seems Bellamy had noticed it too because he sends me a look. We both walk up to catch up with her.

"Hey, you doing alright?" Bellamy asks the girl. She clears her throat and nods

"You did the right thing, Clarke." I tell her.

She nods, "Now I have to live with it."

"You still think this truce is a bad idea, don't you?" She aims her question towards Bellamy.

"I think we're wasting time with politics while our friends are in trouble." Jasper and Monty immediately pop into my head and my heart aches to see them again.

"We need their army to get to Mount Weather, Bellamy, and you know it." She tries to convince him.

"Their army has been getting their ass kicked by Mount Weather forever. What we need is an inside man, someone to be our eyes and ears." Bellamy suggests. I think it's not a bad idea, but who would we send in?

"Forget it. It's too dangerous." Clarke shakes her head at the thought. 

"Clarke, if you can make it out, I can make it in." As soon as I hear the sentence fall from Bellamys lips I stop walking. They do as well seeing me stop.

"You're not freaking serious right now, Bellamy." He can't be serious, he can't go. He could die, I can't lose him. I desperately want to get my friends out but sending Bellamy in is out of the question. It's extremely dangerous, the chances of him coming out alive are slim and I don't want to take that chance.

"Taylor-" he tries to speak but I cut him off in anger.

"No. Don't. You could get killed, Bellamy. I can't believe you didn't even talk to me about this." I shake my head. he must have been thinking about this for awhile, an idea like that doesn't just pop in your head randomly.

Bellamy doesn't say anything and Clarke looks uncomfortable. I huff in humor, he has nothing to say. I shake my head and walk past them to catch up with the others.

Night falls quickly as we walk to the village and we all decide to set up camp. Everyone quickly gets fires going and tents sets up, I take a seat by the fire. I hug my knees to my chest as I try to clear my head.

Bellamy wants to put himself in danger to get our friends out. I should be grateful but the selfish part of me wants him to stay because it's too dangerous and I can't imagine losing him. I want our friends out of that mountain more than anything, I want my best friends back, I want Miller back. I want things to be okay for once but they aren't. We constantly face problems that have negative solutions. I remember it being hard back on the ark but it's so much worse down here.

I wonder what would happen if we never got sent down. I probably would've got floated by now of course. I remember accepting that I was going to die. I probably wouldn't of got to see Jasper or Monty again, nor would I have got to meet Miller. I would've never met Octavia, a girl I see as a sister now. Nor would I have met Raven. Lastly, I wouldn't have ever met Bellamy. Thinking about it makes my head spin.