The Peacekeeper

Chapter 26

"Karkat, will you go out with me? No. that doesn't sound authentic. Karkat, wanna go out on a date? No, fuck, that sounded worse then the first one!" Dave sighed loudly and flopped down onto his bed. Jade, who was sitting right besides Dave sloppily dressed as Karkat, looked down at her friend.

"Dave can we hurry this up? Not that I don't love helping you with this but Karkat's sweater smells like shit and all this nasty grey paint on my skin is making me feel like a desert. All dry and crackily." He took his sunglasses off, rubbing his eyes. He was starting to get tired of this too.

"Yeah. I just, why is it so hard this time? When I was younger the words just fucking flew out of my mouth." Jade snorted.

"No they didn't. Rose and Kanaya told me how you asked him out. You alchemized shitty flowers and practically started crying trying to ask him out. And I think Rose said you just shoved the flowers in his face."

"Nooo, whatever Rose says is a lie! I'm...I'm pretty sure that didn't happen." The two stared each other down for a good minute before Dave gave in. "Okay okay that's how it happened! In my defense I was young and naive. I had no clue how to ask out someone I really like. It's hard. It's hard and nobody understands."

"Oh whatever Dave. Rose asked Kanaya out when she was partially drunk and I got stabbed in the chest."

"I don't think yours counts Jade." She rolled her eyes and tugged Karkat's sweater off.

"Whatever Dave. But you," she poked Dave's chest, "need to figure this out and soon! John can't keep Karkat busy forever!"

"Yeah yeah I know. You have to help me though! You're like...you sort of dated me at one point? Just tell me something that I did then that I can do now."

"Dave, the closest thing you and I have had to a date is when we went frog hunting and then I shot you. But I guess I can tell you not to get shot." The albino stood up and hugged his friend goodbye.

"Fuck. I wish The Mayor was here. He'd have a kickass solution." Jade frowned and hugged Dave tightly. He still hadn't quite gotten over the fact that the Mayor had passed away. Carapace's didn't exactly have a long lifespan, and Dave knew that but it still came as a great shock.

"Yeah. He would. But don't worry Dave, I'm sure you'll figure this out. I have faith in you." She bent down a bit and kissed his cheek before bidding him a final goodbye and taking the dramatic exit: flying out the open window. He watched his friend fly away until she was out of sight then shut the window. Jade was right, he could figure this out. He was Dave Freaking Strider. God of Time, creator of the World, Protector of the Universe. He can ask a hot alien out on a date. It shouldn't be hard, they've been practically dating for these past couple months. This will be a piece of cake.

There's a such thing called friendship, little man. The crazy space warrior could be cuddling up to you at night as a friend. He could be thinking you're doing it to comfort him.

Fuck.

No. This wasn't like that. Right? Dave made himself clear. He loves Karkat but he wouldn't go and jump the gun if Karkat wasn't ready. Maybe this is how Karkat's showing he's ready?

You don't know that little bro. He could be thinking you're all physically affectionate to help him through his insane experience. Shit like this happens.

No no no. No doubts. Not today. In fact, not tomorrow. Not ever. Dave was one-hundred percent sure this would be okay. He was going to do this and that was that.

But what if you fuck up, Dave. What if you fuck up. You fuck up your one chance at getting your alien sweetheart back. If you fuck up you'll be alone. Alone for the rest of your life. You'll have nothing other than the already fading memories of what Karkat used to be meshing with fresh memories of what Karkat is becoming. You'll fuck up.

"I won't fuck up." Dave said aloud to himself, his voice was loud and filled with false-confidence. "I won't fuck up, and if I do, so what? It won't be the end of the world. I can ask him again. Karkat's the kind of guy to give me a retake on asking him out. But I won't need it, want to know why? Cause I won't fuck up!" Dave grinned to himself, stretching out on the bed. He could manage this. Hell he managed years of Bro then years of SBURB.

His phone rang. John was calling to inform Dave that Karkat had grown restless with John's 'Grand Tour of the New World' and he was bringing Karkat home. Dave responded with a nod, which John obviously couldn't see, then with a simple 'okay!' before hanging up. He could do this. He had about an hour, he could throw together a sweet date idea and an amazing pick up line. He didn't have to worry.

His phone dinged once. Then twice. Dave rose an eyebrow and glanced at the screen. It was work.

~

"Hello?" Karkat called out into the dark apartment. Not like it mattered if it was dark, he could still see perfectly fine. But just to make things easier he flipped on the light switch. "Helllloo?" He shrugged his jacket off and tossed it on the couch. No response. The troll frowned and walked into the kitchen. He didn't remember John telling him Dave wouldn't be home. Maybe he shouldn't of tuned out the seemingly eternal chatter of the Heir of Breath. Oh well.

Karkat opened up the fridge and began pulling out random things, things that could simply be heated up in a few seconds and didn't involve any actual cooking. Left over soup from about a week ago, a plate of chicken with corn mixed with mashed potatoes from Kanaya's house the other day, and a half-eaten take out burgers from last night. Karkat sighed and looked at the table displaying the sad choices for that nights dinner. Oh well. He chose the one that was probably the best out of all three and went with the soup. Soup didn't go bad. He put it in the microwave and waited. His mind wandered to where Dave was and he wondered why he didn't leave a note. When the soup was down, Karkat sat himself down at the table and ate quietly.

For the first time in a long time his mind was blank. He didn't think or overthink. He just sat there contently, enjoying his meal. He was happy this way.

The soup was soon finished. He washed his plate, took his prescribed pills, and moved over into Dave's room. He flipped the light switch on in there and sat down on the bed. On the very corner of Dave's dresser there was a note sitting upright. On the paper in somewhat messy handwriting in a bright red ink was Karkat's name. It was the first thing Karkat saw when he sat down. The troll sighed and leaned over, snatching the paper from its spot. He opens up the note and read it;

"Karkat, sorry I wasn't home to hear all about your presumably badass time with John and his fan-fucking-tastic touring skills but I got called into work. This night isn't all bad though. Wanna know why?" Karkat quietly asked himself 'why' in response to the note. "Because I may have the greatest damn opportunity in the world, I'll only have it if you say yes though. Karkat, will you go out on a date with me? Check yes or no." Two boxes were underneath both yes and no, looking as if they've been scribbled there in a hurry.

Karkat blinked, then smiled. He laughed breathlessly then went to grab a pen and leave his answer for Dave to find when he returned home later that night.