"are you with them?" I asked, anger seeping in every word I spat out at him. "dammit, Finn, are you?"
"no!" Finn moved towards the glass, now looking at me with searching eyes. "no."
"then why didn't you tell me?" I screamed at him through my sobs. guilt painted his blue eyes and I wanted to understand. I wanted to understand him, so bad. "why didn't you tell me where we were?"
"I -- Lana, I just --"
"you must be with them. why else would you keep this from me?"
"Lana, I'm not -- I swear -- Lana --"
"why didn't you tell me?"
"I -- "
Finn closed his eyes for a moment's pause, and opened them again. "I want it to end," he said very quietly.
"you want what to end?"
"the -- the pain."
I looked at him in disbelief. "you think I don't know that?" I hissed at him. "you think I'm not hurting too? you think I don't want the pain to end like you? Finn, that wasn't what I asked. I asked you why didn't you tell me where we were."
Finn looked at me wearily, but nothing on his face wrote out an apology for me. "I did," he said. "hell."
"hell? what kind of an answer was that? I needed to know I was in an asylum, Finn, not a metaphorical hell."
Finn stared at me in silence for a few moments, as if he didn't know what to say to me. maybe he didn't. "Lana -- Lana, I just --"
I shook my head, wiping my tears. "god, for once, would you JUST SAY SOMETHING?" my voice echoed in the room, and Finn flinched visibly.
"I ... I couldn't -- I... " Finn struggled to get the words out and hit the glass with his fist, in frustration. he hung his head down and stared at the ground.
"dammit, Finn." the words came out as a whisper now, and I struggled to breathe with the pain that I felt piercing me in my chest. suddenly the room felt very cold, and I felt very, very small."who are you?"
I didn't wait for a response. I stood up from my bed, walked towards the door and turned down the light switch. it was the middle of the day but I couldn't bear to deal with anything anymore.
so with the lights closed, and the awareness that Finn's eyes were on me, I went back to my bed and lay down, closing my eyes and shutting out the world, waiting for this horrible nightmare to finally come to an end.
YOU ARE READING
Behind White Walls
Short Story❝ I don't know how it happened but -- everything around us fell crashing to the ground. We found ourselves in a world where we didn't belong; we shouted and screamed until our lungs were dry and our tears were black and blue, but no one heard us. No...
