Not Real

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I am Mark. Mark Fischbach.

Not the real one of course but instead the fake version dreamed up by Ash. Ash is the author. They haven't ever self inserted before and don't consider this self insert either so that may be why you don't know them. Honestly they hate self insert.

A lot.

That's neither here nor there.

I am Mark, the fake Mark Ash uses to tell their stories.

This is Jack. Jack McLoughlin, I think he's pretty damn great only I only ever think that because Ash has me think that. In another story they could have me hate Jack. Do you get what I'm saying? I'm saying I don't exist.

It's painful. Only it's not because most times they let me be happy.

Only to start a new story, wipe the slate, and make me do it all over.

Why do they do this to me?

I often wonder, in the moments before and after a story when Ash is brainstorming and shuffling through thousands of stories they might write, what Jack and I would be like if Ash didn't control me?

Would I actually end up exactly like the real Jack and Mark do?

After falling in love with him so many times I don't think we would. I think we would fall in love. But then I would worry that it is all just a story and once it's over I'll have to start over.

Be dragged from my happy world only to start anew.

I find peace in Ash's writers blocks. When they can't write I get to live in the moment. Usually they get stuck finishing a story. I get to spend so much more time with Jack then. Just before the end, we get to enjoy so much in those writers block.

Do you know how many versions of myself are currently being written by Ash right now? Five.

In one, I'm a mermaid. In another, I'm evil. The next, I'm a superhero. The one, I'm a high school student. In the last, I'm a football player.

Five versions of myself are all currently trying to do the same thing. It's exhausting.

Finish a story.

Please. Just finish the story.

End this version of me.

Please.

Thank you.

A/N This is sorta meta. I'll probably take it down. I'm not sure where this idea came from.

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