Warnings: Sadness
How could he had fallen in love with a man who spiraled his life with lies?
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Joe doesn't know what Caspar had done. He doesn't know all his unfaithful acts. He doesn't know the cheating. But he had been suspicious from the past weeks. He noticed how Caspar would sometimes come home the next morning, when he told Joe he would be in a meeting. He noticed how he ignored every cuddle time Joe wants, and make an excuse saying he is tired. He noticed when he comes home in the midnight, Caspar is talking to someone on the phone, but the weird part of it is that he uses that voice that Joe could get all tingly in his spine, that lovingly voice he only supposed to use for him. He also noticed red scratch marks behind Caspar's back when he hands a towel for him in the shower, he even asked him what happened but he says he scratch it so much because it is itchy. He noticed it all yet he didn't get any deeper with it because probably he is just mistaken and thought of it in the wrong way and maybe Caspar would thought he is a possessive boyfriend. So he avoided it. But not tonight.
Caspar is well dressed in his blue skinny jeans, white long sleeved shirt and black trench coat. His hair styled perfectly into a quiff and the cologne he is wearing, expensive and strong. And as usual he is bringing his grey shoulder bag.
He hugged Joe from behind while he is preparing dinner.
"I have to go for another meeting, honey." Caspar whispered in Joe's ear, softly.
Joe turn to face Caspar.
"Can you stay for dinner? I actually made some tiramisu for you." Joe said, looking Caspar with his eyes huge and sad.
Hoping. Hoping Caspar would stay even just for dinner.
"I'm sorry babe, The Gleam needs me. And I'm already late. Don't worry I'll join you with breakfast tomorrow, okay?" Caspar kissed Joe's forehead.
Joe hugs Caspar tightly as he could, burying his face in Caspar's coat.
"Okay, come back to me." Joe said, voice muffled from the hug.
"I will." Caspar said, combing Joe's hair. He pulled him away carefully and pecked his lips.
Then he left.
Joe can hear the uber car drive off, he quickly suited himself with his coat since it's a chilly night in London, typical. He got his wallet and car keys and proceeded on to his own car. He got in and started the engine. Drove off, hands firm in the steering wheel, following the uber car. He felt his heart racing and his mind everywhere; the thoughts of Caspar lying to him to ditch off somewhere else is making him nervous. From what he just expected, it is true. He just passed by from the Gleam building. His hands getting sweaty but he kept his focus on the road to follow this uber on where would Caspar's destination be.
It's on a halt now. Destination found: The Goods, a local pub. Joe parked his car far from distance that Caspar will not notice but he could. Caspar got out, shoulder bag slinging and he got inside to the pub. Joe stayed for a while, letting out a heavy breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking; why would he be in a pub? Does he have meetings to attend to there? Why would he lie about going in The Gleam?
He opened his eyes, got his keys, and strode on the dirty pavement of the parking lot, hands in the pocket of his coat. His thoughts still all over the place and in complete honesty he is terrified. Terrified on what he might see that he could never unsee ever again. Terrified that maybe just maybe Caspar is cheating on him. He had that suspicion for days and always block it and distract himself with other things. He thought: he would never do that to me, he loves me. He is faithful with his words and assured me that I'm only his, only. No one would take my place. And I trust him. But everything that could possibly happen either the best or worst will unfold tonight.
Joe held on to the doorknob, staring at it. He got doubled thoughts on maybe just go away and drive back home and to wait for Caspar but he can't back down now, he came far enough to know that firstly Caspar lied to him. So, he took a deep breath in and twist the door open. Just like every pub, flashing lights from the dance floor, dancing and sweaty bodies, loud music blaring, smoke filling the air, bottles of alcohol everywhere. He gets inside slowly, looking. Pubs are supposed to be his escape place, whenever he had arguments with Caspar and just general life problems, it's because he could get drunk and feel so hype and happy even just for a little while. Forgetting the things that makes him emotionally distressed for a little while. But right now it felt like a pit of anxiety and a hell hole full of dark imaginings.
He walked slowly, searching for Caspar in the crowd of people. His heart beating unusually faster and his hands sweating uncontrollably as he kept on look out for a tall blond boy.
Clash!
Joe regained from his troubled thoughts when he accidentally bumped into someone.
"What the fuck man?!" The bloke with black hair and green eyes yelled at him angrily.
The bloke stood up, his shirt splattered with beer, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Look, I'm really sorry mate, I- I will buy you another beer." Joe said, quite quickly.
He just nodded, his anger simmered down.
Both of them walk up to order.
"One beer please for him." Joe said calmly, pointing to the bloke.
He paid the beer and then glanced around, still searching for Caspar. He spotted him. But he's not alone. Caspar is kissing a guy. He got his legs strangling both of the sides of the man, cupping his cheeks and straight up making out with him, hungrily.
Joe stiffened. He felt everything had stopped and froze. His heart beating fast like it wants to get out from his ribcage and to shatter in a million pieces. His breathing heavy and uneven. After all these times, he was right. Those notices, suspicions, expectations, imaginings, those we're all right. Suddenly, his gaze hazy, tears are streaming down his face like waterfalls, unstoppable and uncontrollable. How could he had fallen in love with a man who spiraled his life with lies? How could he believe every single word that came out from his filthy mouth? How was he so blind for a long time?
Instead of going up to him, yell, cry and end what he had with him.
Joe just left.
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I'm sorry, I'm sorrrryy! Dang, so that was that. From this oneshot though I was typing rapidly and actually enjoyed writing this hahaha. Sooo yeah another update, go me! This rarely happens and there are just a lot of things in my head and I was thinking deeply and thought of cheating. Like why would you cheat with your boyfriend/girlfriend when you can just straight go to them and just end things off. Why break someone's heart?? Ok I need to stop I am rambling adios!
KJ xx
