Delicate (A Twilight Fanfic) (on Hold)

Chapter 7

"Er.. hi?" I said.

"Hey Bella!" Jacob said grinning widely, Billy Laughed.

"He's been wanting to see you all week" he smiled

"oh" I said, great, I thought, Absolutely great. "Uh… do you want to go outside?"

Jacob was blushing a little "Sure."

This was probably going to be worse than I thought. I went out side and sat on the wooded tree swing that Dad had made for me last year when I was here on holiday. I never used it and it was rotting form lack of use and age. I sat on it anyway, who knows maybe I'll get lucky and it will break.

"So…." I said trying to make it sound like I was actually thinking of something to say, not just makingthe seconds drag longer.

It sort of dawned on me that I should probably find a way to not do something that would end up in me acting a lot immature than I already was, I liked to think myself as an adult of at the very least a adolescent (even though in most cases, kids are a lot more mature than teenagers) even though people around me saw as just a kid. And honestly the situation I'm in is so weird, I hardly ever think about what other people might look at me like.

But regardless, I was not about to make mud pies with Jacob black.

"Do you want to play hide and seek?" I said the idea of hide and seek was clearly made by some obnoxious parents who didn't want to see, hear or look at their children for a solitary hour. It's so stupid it's genius.

"Not really" he said.

"Why not?"

He shrugged " I don't feel like playing a game"

"Isn't that what friends do when they go over to friends houses? Play games and stuff like that?"

Jacob flinched " we aren't friends, guys and girls can't friends" he said it as if the thought of it was just ridiculous. Are kids today really that sexist, or is it just the blacks?

Usually I would shut up, but honestly today, I just felt like picking fights.

"Well as a mater of fact, I have heaps of friend who are guys" I said emphasising the heaps.

"Really?" he said disbelieving

"Yup" I said popping the P

"Like who?"

"You wouldn't know them."

"Would so."

"I doubt it."

"Who cares?"

"Fine!"

He waited expectantly, almost smug

I said the first name that came into my head, instantly regretted it;

"Edward Cullen"

I could have said anyones name, Mike and Eric were my friends, Emmett was my friend but no. I said his name, probably the only person on the planet, who isn't locked up, who hates me. And I mean really hates me. Hates with a passion.

Jacobs mouth dropped, at least I won the argument. Jacob looked kind of scared for moment. I smiled in victory, even if it was a fairly biased and childish argument

It was quiet for a moment, and I was wondering if I'd hurt his feelings.

Then very softly, in the most serious voice I'd heard him talk in he said

"I don't think you should be friends with him"

UnknownPOV

It's funny how one moment is perfect, beautiful, they do that to you, you know, those things. For anyone who has yet to experience it then the feeling is rather impossible to describe, your tasting rainbows and seeing sounds. The moment feels infinite. No beginning and no end. Time ceases to exist.

You don't notice it happen, the coming down, that is, your first couple times anyway. If you've had it more like me then you know that when the rainbows start tasting a little sour and you blood goes too fast, the desire of what you had before makes your mouth go dry and you clench your teeth until you smashed them all.

Your body leaves you, you have no control, and where your hands should be there's heat and pain, like someone is sucking all the bloodout of you. You don't think clearly, by this point your not in pain, your scared for what's to come, which is why I wanted more. I need more.

I was lucky this this time, planned ahead. I half-ran, half stumbled to the back of my cupboard. I kept them in a tiny box; one a child might put their tooth in when it falls out, but there were no teeth in here, just a few small coloured pills.

Not today, today there was nothing.

I needed them more than I needed air to breath; if they were gone I was gone too.

There was a whole box left, I had just got some more from John this morning behind Star bucks, I wasn't high when I got them, I wasn't I swear. I remember. No one has been in my bedroom all day, unless…

I screamed. She had told someone

I scrapped my hands through my hair, with enough force to pull it all out, and eventually I did.

Several things happened at once then.

My hair fell out; in small clumps my scalp was tingly as I watched the tiny threads drift to the ground. My teeth chipped slightly from biting down to hard and while this was happening, my blood shot eyes turned to the mirror.

I let out another pitied scream, I looked awful, for the first time since I had taken LSD I actually looked andfelt like a drug addict, the feeling is indescribable, to know you did something wrong half way through doing it with no baking out, but still wanting to it again even though its killing you inside out. There is no word for it, maybe there is but I can't think straight enough to tell.

My face was red; blood was dripping along my forehead from my scalp and underneath my skin was white a flakylike a pastry. My face had no depth, except for the darkpurple circles under my eyelids. Theywere mymost dominant feature now. Even my lips were chapped. And ironically I was skinny, something I had always wanted be, back then there was skinny, and nothing more, now there was such thing as being too skinny, which I had sunk down into. My legs looked they had been sliced in half and the veins were sticking out.

Those single moments of almost self-pity mildly stopped the pain, or at least distracted me from it. But nothing could break through that wall, except the thought of vengeance.

Through the craziness of it all I knew what would happen, before I start to see things that aren't there, I neededto kill her. She started this; it would end with her too.