primrose {h.s}

[11]: 5 minutes

Three days have passed since my mom told me about her engagement. My feelings were so conflicted, it was hard for me to comprehend what I actually felt about it. And then I'm more than pissed that I found out she slept with Luke. I'm even more mad at myself for not even realizing it and I want to call her out on it so bad but how can I when I did the same thing to her?

"Here." Some guy, Louis I think, passes me a cigarette.

I take it and inhale the toxic smoke exhaling it out my nose and mouth, leaning my head back as I felt it leave through my lungs. I decided to stand outside because the party inside someone's house had gotten way too hot for me and this Louis guy decided to give me company.

"You look sad." He comments, sticking one of his hands in his front pocket and taking his cigarette out of my hand with the other one.

"I drank too much." I sigh.

"Did you come by yourself?"

"I came with my friend but she went upstairs with these two guys." I shrug.

He chuckles. "Good for her."

My body felt like I was going through a heat stroke, my vision became slightly blurry and I could feel the vomit coming up. I covered my mouth with my hand. "Fuck," I said before turning away from Louis and puking over the concrete. The sound of the throw up hitting the ground was very unflattering and too much of it was coming up. I nearly got scared to death when I felt someone arms around me, realizing it was Louis hands pulling my hair back.

When I was done he rubs my back. "You sure that's all of it?"

Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I say, "I hope so." Cringing at the aftermath in my mouth. "All you British guys are nice, huh?" I hadn't realized that I was still thinking about Harry until I said that. "Fuck." I murmur.

"Something wrong?" He questions worriedly. 

"I need a ride home."

"Sorry, I came with people too."

Before I knew it my phone was in my hand and I was dialing Harry's number. He answered quickly on the fourth ring so there was no turning back now.

"Hello?" His voice sounded raspy like he had just woken up.

"Fuck, you're sleeping." I felt so guilty. "I'll just call you back tomorrow or—"

"It's fine, Prim. If it's you it's alright." That made me really happy. "Where are you? I hear music."

"I'm at a party and I'm drunk and I've been throwing up all night." I whine. "And I called you because I couldn't get you out of my head." I admit, pressing my forehead into the palm of my hand.

Then it became quiet for way too long, making me become nervous even in my drunken state. "I'm coming to get you."

"No, no, no, no, go back to bed. Shhh." I slur.

"Listen to me, I'm picking you up. Stay where you are, I'll there be, darling."

He's so cute and sweet and fuck I'm crying. "Okay, I'll text you the address." I sniffle.

"Are you crying?"

"Yes." I sniffle a few more times.

"I don't care how far you are, I'll be there in 5 minutes."

                                        —

The familiar feeling of being in Harry's apartment comforted me as he carried me through the living room and into his bedroom, sitting me on top of his bed that was covered with a white comforter. My shoes were already off so I tucked my body under the quilt. "Mm, so warm."

He hands me a water bottle and I nearly drink the whole bottle.

"Why were you at that party?" He asks, sitting on the bed next to me.

Because I'm drunk I usually say things that's in my head that I don't want to be let out and I hated it so much so I hardly ever drink. But tonight was an exception, everything in my life was blowing up.

"Everything that's good in my life just... goes away."

"What are you talking about?" He says lowly, stroking my hair behind my ear.

"Luke. My dad. My mom." My lip quivers as I try to keep the tears in. "You."

"I'm still here."

"I haven't seen you in three weeks!" I didn't mean to yell, my emotions was so heightened at this point. "And you're marrying my mom after you told me that you started having feelings for me. I can't trust you." I scooted my body away from him but he grabbed my thighs, bringing me back closer to him and he leans in.

"You made it very clear that you didn't want to see me again so I stopped coming over. And I proposed to your mother because I thought maybe if I married her then I can get over you but I'm stupid and I know that it's not going to be that easy."

"I'm stupid. I didn't want that Harry, I want you." My forehead touches his and his breath tickles my lips as it aches for his touch.

He shuts his eyes tight and I tangle my fingers in the back of his hair. I didn't want him to kiss me because I had threw up earlier, I just wanted him to hold me.

"I can't trust that, Prim." He finally whispers. "How do I know if you don't only want me when you're drunk?"