Lioness (English)

Complete mess

Date:29 JULY 2016

Day:Monday

Time:9:00 pm

Imagine a man working late night.His table scattered with necessary supplies  . A cup of coffee on his right and a dictionary on his left. leaning on a paper looking through a magnifying glass. scribbling notes, referring books and checking maps. Trying to crack down the hidden message. Trying to solve the mystery.

The nerve in his temple throbbing as he tries to decode line by line. Not a single word makes sense. He keeps trying again and again.Now tears in his eyes. He glances at his family photo for the last time. Feeling absolutely hopeless he buries his face in his hands, opens the drawer of the table and pulls out a pistol, takes a deep breath and throws the paper he had been working on in the corner of the room. His jaw clenched he shoots himself.

Now before you start splitting the ends of your hair let me tell you that man who just killed himself isn't any detective and the paper he was working on has no answers to any murders or crimes going around the city also it has no ancient antidote of the spreading deadly virus if that's what you are assuming it to be.

It's just that the man was unlucky enough to be the examiner and the paper he was working on was no doubt my History exam's answer sheet.

Mr.Dairy now you might say wait a minute Shan that's just too much of exaggeration to digest. But for your kind information my handwriting very closely resembles the ancient scripts of Egypt which is enough to get any teacher suicidal correcting my paper.

I don't know if its only me or what but during exams I just get too over excited. I keep poking my friends. I keep jumping around. Long story short I'm a complete mess.

During exams I drink water and get drunk. I get so clumsy.I keep dropping things around. And my handwriting though. God bless the examiner. I truly have sympathy on you.

In our examination hall seniors and juniors sit in alternate rows. Which means I can't sit beside my friend and that's not good news while I'm doing my before exam last minute revision. So what do I do? I sit on any random Junior's seat. Actually not even on the seat.I sit on the table with my legs folded and a pile of books in my lap while chewing at the end of a pencil. People looking at my state don't even bother asking me to leave. I just look so horribly distressed and at times the pile of books is so big that I can't even move a muscle because if I did that it would bring along with it an avalanche of big fat nasty books.

So today I had my science exam. Now why do I hate Science. You ask me one reason I can give you a hundred.

1) No offence Philip of Macedonia (what a Kane Chronicles reference!) but I really don't care how many chambers are present in a crocodile's heart.

2) Valencies and all... Mr.Scientist please go get a life!

3)Newton all I have to say is had the tree fallen on your head instead of the apple it would have saved a million of children's childhood going wasted.

4)Einstein while you were making nuclear weapons why didn't you consider making a Time Machine so that I could go in the past and shoot all our lovely scientists dead.

5) Ohm's law and formulas to find potential difference, volts and Watt. You seriously think I'm going to ever use this in my life. Why would you waste your time teaching a person things like such who uses calculator to check if two times two if four.

6)And how many times am I supposed to learn the binary fission of Amoeba. And honestly every time when I'm asked to make the diagram of Amoeba the only thing that comes to my mind is half fried egg. And why would you do that to a child who is 24/7 hungry.

And I can go on forever when it comes to Science. If Science was a person I would imagine it to be a hot guy in black suite and a french beard, thick black hair and a jawline so sharp you could grate cheese on it. Full of attitude and with his nose always in the air. And now you imagine me standing across with a bazooka all ready to kill this sexy trouble maker!

Getting back to the actual discussion. I had my Science exam today and as expected I was a complete mess even this time. As per the seat arrangement Mike sat in the seat ahead of me. He is a truly weird person who is always angry. If you see a guy in my school with rolled up sleeves and a base ball cap fighting with almost everyone ,yes that's Mike. As a matter of fact Mike is just an acquaintance and I really didn't wan't to screw up my image in front of him. Not that I care much but I don't fancy showing my maniac side to anyone and everyone, specaily a weirdo like him. But does anything ever happen according to my plans...like ever?

The Adrenalin rush was high more than ever. The teacher started distributing the question papers and I started with my before exam customary sermon in my head. I kept muttering prayers under my breath. God I swear I wont press the fire alarm and run away next time, I wont eat popcorn in Math class, I wont call my science teacher Voldemort. Oh god please forgive me and help me get through this exam.Amen

The invigilator gave me the question paper. I hold it with my hands trembling as if she had given me the will of my old grumpy far off relative and all he had left me was his dirty old socks.

I got myself calm and tried reading the first question. I kept clicking my pen as I kept reading. One by one I read the questions and nothing could have lifted up my soul better. I knew the answer of each and every question asked. I finished reading the last question and lifted my gaze up only to notice Mike had turned back and was giving me a truly annoyed stare. "If you could kindly stop clicking your pen I might get back to reading my question paper" said Mike without trying much to open his mouth. I bit my tongue and mimicked sorry. He turned around and got busy.

When finally the answer sheets were distributed I wasted no time and quickly started scribbling down answers

Q1) How many chambers are present in a crocodiles heart

answer: Crocodile has a four chambered heart

Q2) What is the valency of Oxygen

answer: Valency of Oxygen is two...........

I kept writing and writing until I ran out of paper. I stood up with a start and the bottle on my desk fell down. Unfortunately the lid broke and water spilled on Mike's shoes. The teacher called for the janitor and Mike gave me a 'are you out of your mind' look.

I tried to get the embarrassment out of my mind and got back to writing. Finally it was the last question. The question said answer in brief the discovery of gravity. When I was finally done I stretched my legs and leaned back on my chair but to my horror I accidentally kicked Mike's chair and he got pushed forward and his desk hit him hard in his chest. Mike made a small scream which later turned to a grunt.

I pulled the question paper up and covered my face with it. This was getting just too embarrassing.

I decided I would not move at all till the time the exam didn't get over. I kept still as much as I could.
Tick Tok
Tick Tok
Tick Tok

Finally the glorious moment arrived and the bell rang. The invigilator started collecting the papers. We all stood up as the invigilator snatched our papers one by one. The invigilator took Mike's paper and as I tried to give mine I hit Mike on his head mistakenly and his cap went flying two seats ahead. I literally could feel my blood going cold. Without a second thought I grabbed my belongings and ran out of the hall. What in the world was wrong with me.

I kept running until I reached the bus court. Not even once I dared to look back. I quietly got into the bus and got busy discussing the questions with my bus mates.

I honestly think next time I should wear a tee-shirt which has a warning written on it 'Please try to stay away during examination for safety reasons'

Author's note: This chapter has been really fun to write and yes I've been stupid enough to do all that except the guy's name wasn't Mike. Speaking of hating Science I only have issues with Biology. Like Shan says I really don't care about how many chambers a crocodile heart has.