Reason To Fight

Chapter 7

It’s been two weeks. It’s been two weeks with Lauren waking up to roses with a meaningfully written attached poem, it’s been two weeks with Lauren receiving compliments and flattery throughout the days, and it’s been two weeks of me trying.Fighting.

And I’m still not giving up.

Lauren adores the attention. She craves it, and the only reason she would ever not enjoy it is because she feels bad. She pities me, and she doesn’t like to see me hurting. But everyone likes to feel loved every now and then, right?

“Great, I look like a potato.”  Lauren mumbled under her breath, looking at herself in the mirror.

“I think you look beautiful no matter what you wear.” I respond, and she looks surprised that I even heard her.

“D’aww, never as beautiful as you,” She began, while she turned around to look at me. Our eyes met, and it was like she saw through me. I felt bare under her stare, like every thought in my brain was laid right out for her. It seems as though she realized something too from that one look because she sighed and looked down, “Look, Camila…”

Camila? That meant she was serious. My heart’s race instantly sped up. Thump, thump, thump.

“Yeah, Laur?”

Thump, thump, thump.

She sits beside me on the edge of her bed.

Thump, thump, thump.

“Can we talk? I have something to tell you.” She held my hand gently in her lap.

Thump, thump, thump.

“Of course. Go ahead.” Was this the moment I’ve been waiting for?

Thump, thump, thump.

“Well, you know how like, you’ve been ‘fighting for me’ and all that jazz?” She asked.

Thump, thump, thump.

“Yeah…?” I gulped.

Thump, thump, thump.

“Yeah, well, about that…” She cleared her throat and paused for a moment.

Thump, thump, thump.

“I just…” She said, “I just think you should, like, stop.”

Wait, what?

“Haven’t we already talked about this?” I furrowed my eyebrows.

She sighed, “No, I’m not asking you to stop feeling the way you do. I get it that like, the heart wants what it wants, and I’m sorry… But like, I mean, I don’t want you to do all this fighting and stuff and get disappointed, because Camz, you like, really mean a lot to me. And I’m going to admit, it’s really flattering but it hurts so much to see you trying and expecting when there’s not much for you to expect. I’m sorry. It’s just, I just really love you, believe me, but you’re my friend, Camz. My best friend.”

Friend zoning at its best.

I’d be lying if I said hearing that didn’t hurt. It stung like a bitch. But I had to show her the contrary to how I felt. So I shrugged, “Okay.”

She knit her eyebrows under the bridge of her nose, “W-what?”

I shrugged again, “I said okay.”

“Oh,” She said, perplexity visible in her face, “T-th-that’s all?”

“What else is there to say? I’m your friend. You’ve made it clear as day, believe me,” I had to start pretending again. I had to pretend nothing hurt, I had to pretend I wasn’t desperate for her to be mine, “Maybe you were right after all, you know? Like maybe I really do need to just let you go.”