Faking It || l.r.h

20. Tutor

After wallowing in self pity, I sat up and grabbed some Kleenex from my nightstand to blow my nose. I grabbed a few more to lay under my legs to catch the blood that could possibly drop onto my duvet. I pulled my leggings down and grabbed a blade from my top drawer.

I like to log the times I cut to see how bad or how well I'm doing. I picked up my phone and when I pressed the home button, I small smile crept onto my face from seeing a text from Luke.

Luke: Are you okay?

It was a simple three words but it made me a little happy because he actually cared. I definitely wasn't myself when my dad came home and he wanted to make sure I was fine.

I looked at the blade in my hand and how prepared I was to cut. After seeing the text, it felt wrong somehow. It wasn't even that major but now I can't bring myself to do it.

I put the blade back in my drawer and hopped off my bed to pull up my leggings and throw away the tissues. I sat back down to reply.

Me: Yeah, I'll be fine. See you tomorrow

I locked my phone and laid back. He'll never know, but he helped me. I broke my clean streak a few days ago and am trying to start a new one and he helped me continue that.

I'll be okay, I just need to take it a day at a time.

-

I got dressed the next morning and was outside waiting earlier than usual. When I saw Luke's car coming down the street I smiled and had to force my face to hold a neutral expression before I approached his car. I couldn't help it, for some reason he makes me happy.

"Good morning." He said when I closed the door.

"Good morning." I replied.

"I've got you some coffee." He pointed to a cup in the cup holder.

"Is you getting me breakfast gonna be an everyday thing now?" I chuckled.

"Don't expect it all the time." He laughed. "I just wanted you to have something you liked after what happened yesterday. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." I nodded. I find his concern for my wellbeing to be quite sweet.

We talked during the short drive to school and when we arrived, we got out and headed in together.

He walked with me to my locker and had his arms wrapped around me while I went through it. He put his head in the crook of my neck and I smiled to myself. I loved having his body pressed up against me. I just hoped he couldn't feel my heart beating hard and fast.

"Turn around, they're coming." He whispered in my ear.

I obeyed and turned to face him, putting my arms around his neck and locking my fingers. I looked him in his deep blue eyes and couldn't help but be mesmerized. I could drown in them they were so beautiful.

I finally decided to close the gap in between us and kiss him. It seemed like the right thing to do since they were in the hall and it's a win for me because I got to feel his lips again.