"I'm pretty even when I'm not pretty..."

Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get out of bed...

So this was my day...
- Nick cannot go to school because the physio tells me that he's growing too quick and his muscles can't keep up...has suggested acupuncture.
- Nick grabs Jamie around the neck and says 'try me bitch.' Hysterics ensue and I am supposed to be leaving for work.
- Jamie tells me what has happened, Nick denies all and I know he's lying cause of the twitch he gets in his face.
- Jamie barricades himself in his room saying he cannot possibly go to school.
- I walk down the hall yelling I am leaving in 5 minutes and if he wants to go to school he needs to be in the car.
- Have a quick 5 minute chat with Nick about his lying.
- Nick responds "that's just who I am," which leaves me thinking is he a fucking gangsta now?
- Am now 15 minutes late for work.
- Leave one crying child at home and drop two children at school, one crying and the other complaining of a sore stomach.
- I don't have time for this.
- Arrive a work to be told the reptile woman doing a show has left some insects in the office, one being a tarantula. Oh goody.
- Remind one child that group time does not mean pull your pants down and show everyone your willy.
- Remind another child that it is not safe to pretend to be a vacuum cleaner and suck your food into your mouth so it goes straight down your throat.
- Try to reassure another child having a tantrum on the floor that it is okay to use scissors at kindergarten and that I do not need to ring her mother to confirm this. Consider stabbing my own eye out at this point.
- Curse the last person who did not replace the toilet paper.
- Plaster a smile on my face as I listen to 'Let it go,' for the 20th time today and join in with the little princesses.
- Pick up children from school and one is still crying, said child is being picked on for months so organise a meeting with the school principal to discuss.
- Husband comes home from traveling to crying child, discuss details.
- Stop husband from going to visit other child's father as he is extremely agitated (read pissed) at what is going on.
- Tries to comfort child which ends up with Jamie running away outside.
- Chloe is asked to shower but refuses to enter the bathroom on the count of a spider.
- Find Jamie and calm him down, bring him back inside.
- Chloe appears and begins screaming with stomach pains. Envisage a trip to the emergency department.
- Husband asks what I plan to cook for dinner.
- Dope Chloe up on medication and put her to bed.
- Husband still asking what's for dinner.
- Find him with my bag of Jelly Tots.
- Discovers his blood sugar levels are low. Still say this is a poor excuse for eating my Jelly Tots.
- Husband expresses frustration he did not receive a hug and a kiss when he walked through the front door. Asked if he was fucking kidding. Responded that he was perhaps sexually frustrated but understood I had no control over my 'lady functions.'
- Nick comes in crying because he dropped his phone in the toilet.
- Lament that I cannot find the Oreo cookies in the pantry and conclude the children must have eaten them.
- Husband sees Harry on my phone background and questions why. Says I would not like it if he had a hot girl as his background.
- Realise I really give don't a fuck about anything right now.
- Decide my husband is a dick, feed my children and go to bed.
🙄😂