colors ;; phan

-Chapter Six-

-Dan-

It's freezing outside, as I walk through the cool air, even with corner boy's jacket hung over my body, quiet too. The music coming from his house had slowly diminished into nothing but the sound of rustling trees as I walked further through the neighborhood.

It had been a stupid move to leave like that. Because now, I find myself wandering aimlessly through the streets. I had forgotten my way home from his house.

I'm stupid, but that's okay. I know that I somehow deserve this feeling of self hatred. It's okay to hate myself if everyone else already does. Corner boy had made that clear back at his house. His words echoed in my head and I found my eyebrows furrowing more and more until I probably looked like I'd had the worst day imaginable to anyone else.

But I hadn't had the worst day possible, it wasn't as bad as it always was. Chris had gone easier on me today. Although, I'm not sure if that will continue, and corner boy had made me feel something. It wasn't distinguishable under my hazy state of mind, but he sure had made me feel just, better.

It doesn't make sense.

He's just going to hurt you.

Don't give him that power Dan.

I try my best to shake the thoughts from my jumbled head. Self doubt is only making this worse. I wish that I could just be normal. Normal people don't put themselves down this much.

I notice something familiar as I turn around a corner. It's not long before I realize that it's the same corner I turn around every morning. Upon looking down the long street, I catch sight of my house in the distance.

I pick up the pace of my walking, wanting nothing more than to just get home already. Get away from my heavy thoughts that seemed to follow me and make themselves more prominent than ever just because of the sheer fact that I was alone.

It's not long before I reach the dark house, a feeling of panic rising in my chest as I don't feel my keys in my pocket. Of course I had forgotten them. My keys were the last thing I was thinking of when I had left in the spur of the moment.

The panic subsides a bit as I remember that we had a spare hidden somewhere. I begin looking around the dimly lit porch in search of where they were, but it was too dark.

After minutes of hopeless fumbling and frustrated sighs, my hand knocks down a shiny metal object that reflects the dim lighting around me. Finally.

I grasp the object in my fingers as soon as I realize that it was indeed the key. Twisting it into the lock before the door pops open with a welcoming click.

The rest of the house wasn't so welcoming however, as it was dark and shadowed around every corner. I wasn't usually scared when I was home alone, but I felt vulnerable today, lonely too.

I brush off the feeling of uncertainty as I lock the front door behind me upon entering. A faint ticking sound is heard from across the room, and my ears perk up at the sound of it. My eyes travel towards it, the numbers reading 8:23, it isn't too late.

I should have just stayed at the party, because now here I am alone. Although I usually liked being alone, right now it just felt uninviting.

I start down the shaded hallway, the only light coming from the quite full moon that resided outside the large uncovered window of our living room.