Life Goes On...

The Words I Never Wanted to Hear

I woke up to my manager pounding on my door yelling my name, I got up and let Andrea in. "Carrie why aren't you dressed!? We have to be at the air port in 20 minutes!' "Oh no! I stayed up all night I must've slept in late." "Why were you up all night?" "I just have a lot on my mind right now...that's all." I say as I gather up all of my things. "But I'm fine come on lets go!" "Okay!?" My flight landed I saw my chauffeur and got in the car and headed home. Right now I honestly don't know what to think, I've been gone for that last 2 months of my tour and haven't been home to see Ben. There are so many "what ifs" going through my head right now. We pulled up in front of my house, Ben came out and helped me get my things. We walk in and put my things away, Ben doesn't seem at all like himself. "Babe, are you okay? You don't seem like yourself." He just stood there for a moment and then looked at me with a "we need to talk" look that scared me. "Carrie can we sit?" "Sure." "Carrie I...I..." "Ben come on its okay you can tell me." And with a deep breath he said the words I never wanted to hear. "Carrie I don't think I can do this anymore..." "What do you mean this?" "This...us...it's just not working out how it used to..." Tears started welling up in my eyes, and that's when the anger started to build up. I just wanted to smack him across his face, but I didn't, I kept it all in until I broke. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? I asked you in the beginning if you'd be okay with my profession! You knew this is how it was going t be!" "But babe you're gone all the time when you're on tour, and when you're home your out doing something for the next album or tour. I just cant do it anymore..I'm sorry." "Get out!!" "What?" He says with a slightly confused look. "You heard me, get out!" He walked upstairs got his things and headed straight for the door. Then with one last look at me he said "Goodbye Carrie..." I slammed the door shut turned around and just hit the floor..How could he do this to me? We were together for a year and a half! I just sat there and cried... It was almost 11:30p.m. so I decided to head on up to bed.