No Strings Attached

Chapter 9

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Jaime's POV:

I had finally arrived to home and it was a bore and I felt crummy. For a week I lounged around in sweats and a tub of chocolate chip ice cream tucked underneath my arm. Even to class I was a horrid mess, but it turned in all the assignments.

Even when I visited my mum and Dr. Staub, they both tried oh so hard to pry answers from me, but quite honestly I had neither the will nor the strength to talk about it. It was as if the whole situation was a pesky leech and it has proceeded to suck the life out of me.

I ran to my room and dug out the once precious swans and held the box above the trash can. My arms trembled and my eyes began to get blurry and hot. I-I can’t throw them away. As much as I wanted to rip them up and throw them down hell’s pit I just couldn’t. I grabbed the box and threw the swans haphazardly into an old plastic bag and stuffed it back under my bed. It wasn’t the swans fault that their creator is such a prick, “Hush little baby don’t say a word momma’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.” I sang hoarsely to myself.

It’s an old lullaby my mum used to hum to me when it happened. It was the only thing that calmed me down in times of need and strangely Dr. Staub advised me to hum to myself when I was stressed.

I curled tighter into a ball. I wonder what Louis doing? Kissing her? Holding her? Doing her?

I cringed even more and sang a bit louder. I shit my eyes as images of them together burned the inside of my head, the tears slowly slipped out and trickled down my burning cheeks. I didn’t bother wiping them away. I was alone. Niall is my fake boyfriend and since his x-factor days he hasn’t had one! Oh my God my twitter and Instagram are probably full of hate and stupid edits. I pull my soft pillow to my face and let a howling scream escape me.

Could life get any worse?

And as if on cue my doorbell rang. I got up and washed my face eliminating any trace of tear streaks. I took multiple deep breathes until I finally reached equilibrium. I opened the door I almost shat myself.

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Louis' POV:

“Listen I can’t do this anymore. I-I can’t. We need to break up.” My voice shook with terror as I pressed my hands against my thighs. I was in a small rectangular office with an agent from management. He was old and handsome. He had his wire brimmed glasses perched on his nose, he stopped shuffling papers after a long pause. “Mr. Tomlinson. We have a contract you’ll do what we ask of you until it expires.” His lips were pursed tightly. Did I mention he’s Eleanor’s uncle?

I ran my hands through my hair, “I know but I’m not happy,” he glanced my way sternly, “and I know she isn’t either.” I added quickly before casting my eyes at my fumbling fingers. He cleared his throat, “From what she tells me she’s extremely happy. Why aren’t you?”

When we first broke up it was because I was simply unhappy with her. She’s extremely clingy and possessive. She wants to know where I'm at, if I'm with the lads, and if I don’t answer her call-even if it’s in the middle of the night or during a concert- she goes ballistic. I guess she became sad or whatever and whined to her uncle. Does she honestly think I got back with her because I wanted to? I mean she can’t be that clueless. She must know how miserable I am

“I dunno.”

The shuffling continued, “Well I’m sorry Louis but you can’t and if you break up with her we’re going to have to drop your band.”

I bite my lip. I can’t do anything! Is it me or are the walls closing in on me? My chest feels tight and pressured. I take shallow breaths but it still hurts. If Modest drops us no one will want to pick up five teenaged lads, but what about personal happiness? They can’t take that away can they? Of course stupid. God I wish I hadn’t tried out for the x-factor.

“Ok.” I replied and jogged out the building and into the warm Australian sun. It was our last day and I wish it could have been my last day period. I ran around the block once, twice, until I ran around ten times. If it wasn’t for the setting sun I would’ve kept running until I felt close to collapsing or just combusting.

I finally arrived to the hotel, Eleanor was gone and Niall was the only one home, the others decided to go party.

He had a bowl of cereal in one hand and a spoon chasing the cheerios in the other, “You need a work out buddy?”

“Huh?”

He chewed slowly and swallowed, “Do you need a work out buddy? Someone to run with?” he explained thoroughly as if I were a child. I found this an insult, “No I get enough of a work out having sex.” I winked and went to my room. The second my door locked I shoved the base of my palm onto my forehead. Stupid. Stupid. 

I can’t help it. I really can’t, it’s my defensive mechanism. The second I feel vulnerable or attacked I turn into this macho crude idiot. I wonder what Jaime is doing? Is that why Niall stayed? So they could Skype. I wonder if she blows him those little kisses. Her soft pink lips would pucker as if she were a fish and she never-and I mean ever- could go through that without laughing. My heart pained at the memory and my stomach sank deeper inside me.

“Hush little baby don’t say a word papa’s gonna buy you a mocking bird,” I mumbled softly as I grabbed my boxers from a suitcase and headed for the shower. Jaime confessed to me that the song helps her through times of trouble. My mind begins to reel and I come with billions of questions as the hot water burned my back yet soothed my muscles.

Does Niall know about the lullaby? Does he know her secret tattoo of a swan near her hip? The way she dances? Does Niall how much I want her back? Does he know that I’m a terrible awful person who is in love with his band mate’s girlfriend?

I kept torturing myself question after question long after I finished showering.  I sat on that badly tattered couch and picked at the leather as I flipped from channel to channel, sadly it was those gossip talk shows time so most of them revolved around us and our new blossoming love. I groaned and finally I landed on Tangled the movie.

I watched it with Jaime once, but I vaguely remember it. As to painfully relive that cold bitter day that we stayed inside her flat, our bodies meshed together perfectly, I leave it on and watch it.

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