No Strings Attached

Chapter 3

I woke up in fetal position with the book tucked under my arm. I wiped at the dripping drool from the corner of my mouth and yawn widely. I felt like a bear awoken in the middle of its hibernation, mad and hungry. Oh so hungry.

“Oh dear God.” I screech as if it were a battle cry, I stretched my limbs as if it could add to my 5’4 height. I push the lion mane of my hair back and get up, book in hand.

I set it down on my library wall. It’s the wall on the left side of my bed, the one with the window seat. I had books mounted neatly on the floor since the shelves that Niall helped me install are completely full.

I yawn once again and carefully step over the land mine carefully because if I take one wrong step I’ll be buried under an avalanche of my life’s worth of literature. I shudder at the thought of how much paper cuts I’ll receive thanks to that. I take my usual shower and Choco Krispy’s and head out the door.

“Fuck!” I cussed under my breath as I quickened my step and went around the block.

-

“So how do you feel today Jaime?” Dr. Staub asked in a nasally voice that made me want to drive a couple of nails inside my ear.

I lay on the faux leather couch he had; it made me feel stiff as a board. There was absolutely no type of cushion to it. Except for this patch near one of the oak legs that has no type of leather whatsoever due to my constant picking at it, now all it is, is a white foam spot in an otherwise burgundy couch.

“Good I guess.”

“Why do you guess?” He scribbled on his little stupid notepad. Notes, he’s taking notes on me as if I were a rare and dangerous species! I’m not okay? I’m perfectly normal! I went through a rough patch; I didn’t get a weird disease injected into me!

“My friends are back at it with their tour.” I thumbed around aimlessly with a strand of my hair, searching for split ends, which of course was like looking for a needle in a hay stack. I hated this, I hated sitting in his dumb beige office! Nothing interesting to look at! Does he think he’s superior to me because here he is jotting down notes on his stupid beige clipboard about how I’m doing.

I saw him slightly open his plum dry lips to ask another senseless question about what I ate or how do I feel, but I quickly blurt, “Have you discovered your Great Perhaps?” I turned over to my side and eye him suspiciously.

He gave me an incredulous look and wiggled his graying mustache. I giggled dryly.

“Child what do you mean by Great Perhaps?”

I roll my eyes and sit up, “Please don’t call me a child, do you know how annoying that is? I’m 19 for Christ sakes,” he stared at me with those big dull eyes egging me on, “You know your goal! Ambition? Or something between those lines, actually the Great Perhaps could be anything you want.”

He chuckled as if this was a silly idea and I immediately regret even mentioning it to him. He’s those logical types, he thinks over things about 500 times. He leans back in his chair and points to a wooden frame of his Doctorates degree, “That my ch-I mean Jaime is my Great Perhaps.”

I scrunch my nose at him, “So you want to hear about people’s daily life for the rest of your life?” He nodded softly.

I check my watch, “Well thanks Doc this was another extremely nourishing conversation with you, but it’s time for m to head out.” I jumped up and balanced on the balls of my feet waiting for his approval.

He, too, checked his watch and nodded, signaling that it was indeed time for me to go. I cracked my neck and made my way to the door.

“Bye Dr. Staub see you in a week!” I said brightly before shutting the door and running home. I ripped off my jacket as if it constrained me from breathing and hopped inside my bed and snuggled under the covers. I propped myself up with my back against the wall.

I read the book, loving it with every word I read.

You smoke to enjoy. I smoke to die. Alaska Young, THE Alaska Young announced in the middle of a McDonalds to a classmate at the end of the chapter. My heart fluttered helplessly at Alaska. She’s everyone’s dream girl, even if you’re a straight girl, she’s still your dream girl!

I love that Alaska and I have this little deep connection through our love of books it’s like I can feel her presence with every page I turn. I can almost smell her cigarette vanilla scent. I can almost see her flip flops clinging on to her electric blue toes.  I can almost hear the beeping of her laptop.

Wait that wasn’t Alaska’s laptop it was mine! I throw the covers off and fumble towards my desk and knock over a measly stack of books.

It was a Skype call from Louis. I smile brightly and answer, soon his childlike-and very pixilated- face appeared on my computer screen. He looked sleepy and groggy and his hair was perfectly askew. He smiled widely once he saw me clearly.

“Hey love.” He slurred awkwardly, I noticed he had no shirt on and I tried to avert my eyes from his chiseled chest and his whimsical “It is what it is” tattoo.

“Hey Louis.”

We both shared a soft laugh, “How’s the tour going? Any lady friends?” I winked playfully. He gave me a devilish crooked grin. That same grin he flashed me before sticking his tongue down my throat, before he first took away my virginity and every other important milestone in our friendship.

He shook his rough hands through his brown mop of hair, “Its great and hmm I don’t know, why?”

I felt a hot flash of anger to his response.

“Just.”

“Aw are you jealous?” he cooed and leaned forward to his laptop’s camera. I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, right. Like I’d be jealous of anyone.”

I looked over my shoulder, trying to hide my embarrassment. God I hate when he gets this cocky, like who gives him the God damn right to act like this? I chewed the inside of my cheek and turn back to the ever smirking Louis, ugh now all I wanted to do was punch the shit out of my laptop. “It’s okay if you are you know. I have that effect on people.”

I flip him the sweet ol’ bird. “You’re not all that babe.”

“That’s not what you were moaning a couple nights ago.” He said defensively, his bottom lip stuck out slightly. I laughed, “It’s called acting!”

He rolled his eyes, "Okay so listen I need to tell you something really important and I just can't wait."

The butterflies, that were hibernating perfectly, began to flutter rapidly around my stomach and the jagged rock.

Then out of nowhere a pillow emerged from the darkened room and smacked right in the back of his head.

“LOUIS TURN THAT SHIT OFF AND GO TO SLEEP! WE’RE ALL FUCKEN TIRED AND WE DON’T NEED YOU SKYPING ALL NIGHT LONG! CALL HER TOMRROW YOU DICKWAD!”

Louis cocked his head back and let out a good old jolly laugh, it sounded magical as if angels were secretly inside his throat and sometimes I just can’t even deal with it!

“I’ll call you tomorrow apparently Mr. Malik needs more beauty sleep!” He laughed light heartedly as if something weighed him down.

"Wait Louis-"

Beep. Beep. The laptop ended the call.