Exhilarating Coming

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By Athena

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I'm not sure when I began to realize I wasn't fully straight. I'm ashamed to admit that I was in denial at first when I began to find girls attractive, trying to convince myself that I was still as straight as ever.

But of course, that obviously didn't work out. At first, I was terrified of questioning what I had always known to be normal for me. Even when I found out about same gender couples, I had still my mindset of heteronormativity. It's funny, really, because it's as though discovering the LGBTQA+ community opened up a new world where attraction wasn't just black and white.

I was afraid to put a label on myself at first, thinking that it made it more real. However, after some research, (and plenty of fanfictions), I came to a conclusion that correctly defines me.

I am a demiromantic bisexual.

It feels terrifying, but exhilarating, to finally admit that. I'm sure most of you know what being bisexual means, but I don't know if you've heard the term demiromantic or demisexual before.

Basically, demiromantic means that I can only develop romantic feelings for someone if I have a strong, emotional connection with them. Demisexual means the same thing, but with sexual desires instead of romantic ones. I thought I was demisexual until I realized that I could find either gender sexually attractive, but not think about a romantic relationship with them.

So, there you have it. I'm bisexual in finding either gender sexually appealing, but demiromantic in the way that I must know you deeply to want to pursue a relationship.

I now know how frightening it is to come out, even if it is to some people who don't know me on the Internet. I haven't come out to ANYBODY in my real life yet.

I'm glad that my first experience of coming out will be to the wonderfully supportive people on Wattpad. <3 maybe I'll come out to my friends soon...

Love, Athena ♡♡

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