Troubled Minds | Quil Ateara [2]

Dix-Huit pt.3

Andy wasn't sure how it happened, but one moment she was shouting at her sister and the next she was curled Bella's arms, sobbing as her body ached all over. She had exerted herself, the rage she had once felt had stolen all the energy from her muscle tissue and tiredness seeped into her bones replacing it.

She was conflicted. Caught between wanting her sisters comfort and wanting to push her away, to be left alone.

Getting it all out had felt good. She no longer felt like Atlas, holding the weight of the world on her shoulders. Instead she felt free. Her mind felt numb, no longer fighting itself to have her dominant thought. Her lungs felt clear and she took greedy gulps of air to clear her body from the drowning sensation that haunts her.

Andy felt like she should yell more often.

It her body required pure rage to feel balanced, then she would try to conjure up those feelings on the daily because it made her feel sane. It was a relief.

"How come you never said anything Ands?" Bella mumbled as she gently rubbed her sisters back.

"Because that's how things are. I would do so much for you, because you were like my personal hero," Andy chuckled dryly. "I'm starting to think you're an awful hero."

"I am, I really am."

"I'm not sold on the idea yet so shut up Bells." Andy shoved her sister. It wasn't playful, but she had no intent to hurt her. The youngest Swan was not going to let any of this go lightly, she wanted to hold it to her.

Then the girls sat together quietly, letting themselves take comfort from the other because they sisters over everything and were capable of setting their differences aside if only for the night.

It was nice to feel connected, balanced with your blood because Andy believed, like in all great legends, blood conquered all. It was the driving piece in a mystery that was created by the stars. Gods and goddesses were nothing without their kin; Andy wanted to be legendary like them. She wanted constellations and stars named for the Swan sisters, so she could forgive her sister if only for the night.

There was some unspoken force, some binding promise and both girls knew that not a word would be spoken about this again unless necessary. The Quileute boy club was forbidden ground now and for that, Andy was eternally grateful.

It was after night fall when Bella finally left to her room leaving Andy to relish in the weightless feeling that floated inside her.

It was later than acceptable when she heard talking coming from her sister's room. It was hushed at first, but then the voices were unmistakable. She could make out his voice clearly, his pleads grew louder and desperate as he tried to get Bella to let him speak to Andy.

Andy sat in her room. Listening to each word that oozed from his lips that would only promise pain and betrayal if she allowed herself to believe them. She felt her blood boil, anger curling in her stomach like a small beast waiting to take her over, ready to inflict the hurricane like damage that came with crossing her path.

It was hearing Bella's frantic pleas for him to leave that caused her to snap.

Finding herself facing the Black boy so soon after she had told his friends off then cried was not something she waned to happen.

Andy wished that time wasn't so direct an linear. If she could, she would rewind time if only for a few minutes so that she could be back at Quil's house; back to the moment where she released that she loves him because in those few seconds she felt over the moon. She doubted that Cupid could make a better match.

But time was fickle and if only's were just that. They were a fleeting thought, a wish that one's mind weaves from a hearts desire when something seems so unimaginably out of your grasp. If only was a mantra that gave you hope beyond what your heart believes you could reach.

Andy thought that the mind showed leave stay out of matters of the heart when it came to the impossible.

Looking at the boy, she wanted this over quick. She felt emotionally drained, her soul was clawing at scarps in a feeble attempt to get her motivated but anger burned away quickly.

"From what I could tell, Bella doesn't want you here so you should leave Black." Andy was surprised at how formal and detached she sounded.

"Well, like I told Bella. I'm here to see you," the boy tried to reason.

"That's all well, but I have had a long day filled with friends and crazy off the chart emotions. I'll have to take a rain check." Andy gestured towards the open window, assuming that was how he had gotten in. "Please do leave now."

"Andy, just let me explain." She matched every step he took towards her with a step back.

"Oh, I seem to have forgotten the other little bit," she drawled. Her eyes narrowed at him, her next few words were filled with as much emotion that she could muster. "I don't want to speak to you. I don't like you. I won't join boys club even if my other option was to be brutally murdered."

"Please, you don't understand how much we need you. You help us-"

"Get out," she cut him off. "Get out now before I go and wake my dad. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear that you've been sneaking into his daughter's room."

Andy stood firm as she watched him leave. Not once did she waver as he sent her a final pleading look. Not once did she flinch as he dropped out the window.

Bella looked at her sister carefully. "Andy-"

"Don't." the younger girl didn't let her finish. "Just don't."

She returned back to the safety of her room. making sure the door was firmly shut before reaching for her phone and collapsing on her bed. She sent a quick text to Quil in hopes he could some how better her mood.

She waned to feel the way she did when she was around him but she couldn't just show up at his place, he couldn't show up at hers.

Agitated and in need of some kind of conversation, she called the only people that could help her; the two that she had been waiting for a call from since she got home.

The answered on the first ring, as if they were waiting.

"I know, just tell us everything. We have a lot to talk about." Alice's voice was soothing; it was honey to her ears that had her relaxing into her bed.

"Hope you guys weren't planning on sleeping, because we're going to be here for a while." Andy couldn't help but laugh at her own joke.

"I'm not getting any younger Andy," Jasper teased, sending the girl into another round of giggles.

"Well to start, and maybe the easiest to discuss, I have come to the realization that I love Quil."

"You're not allowed. I won't allow it. Take it back, reverse it, it is not happening," Jasper was quick to deny.

"Oh Jazz, relax. We knew this was going to happen at one point. It's not the end of the world." Andy could hear Alice trying to calm her mate.

"Oh no, it is the end. I'm dying. This is going to be the end of me. Tell me it isn't true," a Texan accent filtered through the phone.

Smirking, Andy decided to speak. "It is very much true."

"Shut it missy," Jasper hissed over the phone. "You have already done enough."

***

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