Killer Bad Girl | COMPLETED

chapter | twenty-five

"Love causes pain."

"No miss-using love causes pain. If you really love someone then you won't hurt them and they won't hurt you. If you're just learned to love, you can find yourself again." I felt my wall breaking for Damian; I just needed someone to talk to and he was there, I can't pretend to be this strong person with him anymore, I can't lie to myself. I'm weak on the inside.

"I can't love anyone, I can't even love myself! And who I am now is who I will always be! There's no hope for me I'm a horrible person!!" My eyes began watering, Damian walked over and hugged me placing his chin on the top of my head,

"What happened to your Sash you can talk to me, I promise you I will always be there for you." I brought my arms up and wrapped them around this boy who somehow managed to mean so much to me.

"I-I can't tell you..." I mumbled, into his wrinkled shirt. I listened to the steady beat of his heart; which didn't contrast well to my crazy ass heart hammering in my chest.

"Let it out," He rubbed my back soothingly, "You can cry. Your human believe it or not, and you have feelings let them out, let your demons out and I will be there to fight them with you."

"I promised him, I wouldn't." My grip on Damian tightened.

"Who?"

"Ryder," I replied simply wanting to change the topic.

"Who's Ryder?" He pulled back to examine my broken face.

I looked into his eyes and I felt myself trusting him with everything inside me, so I did the one thing I have never done. I told someone, I told Damian and I told him everything that destroyed me.

Nathans POV

"Nattthhhhh!"

Please shut up, "Nathan."

I ran my hand through my hair in frustration, stupid Ruby, why am I dating her again? Because you felt bad for her after Ryder's death... yes, a dick head move. I know. But what am I supposed to do, she lost her cousin. And her best friend left her without a goodbye. I felt bad for the crying innocent girl at the funeral, she needed someone. And I decided to be that person. But Ruby went rouge eventually. I think she finally lost it, had a meltdown, and she still hast recovered so she lashes out at everyone. And I have grown used to standing by and watching. I have never had the heart to leave her, I may not be madly in love with her but I do care about her not romanticly but in a friend way.

"Nathan!"

"NATHAN?!?"

"What do you want!!?" I snapped growing impatient, our friends stopped talking and looked at me weirdly. I guess my outburst drawed unwanted attention.

"Sorry," I mumbled quietly, not meaning it.

"You need to chill out man.," Kevin, patted my back and I clenched my jaw to stop myself snapping at that idiot.

"Yeah, babe what's up?" Ruby reached out placing her small Petrie hand onto the top of mine I let my hand sit, but where she touched me her hand felt clammy and it made me feel sick to think she was touching me, she clawed her nails into my skin when, I'm guessing, she realised I wasn't planing on holding it back.

"Nothing, I'm just exhausted, sorry." I glared at the table.

"Life is exhausting, but you make every moment worth it!" Cassy chimed in, from next to Russell her boyfriend and my head snapped up to make eye contact with her, I couldn't help but smile at the beautiful girl. Russell smiled at her, he wrapped an arm around her pulling her even closer to him. I rolled my eyes at the love sick couple. Ew.

"I don't know how you have so much positivity, Cass," she gave me a soft smile.

"We can tell something's up, you can tell us. We are your friends..." Cass replied, I nodded in response but made no move to open up to her. I didn't want to talk about it, I haven't been able to get Sasha out of my mind. Her cold eyes, broken gazes, those moments when I could see her fighting herself for reasons, I didn't know. Like she was trying to control herself from doing something; but what? I needed to know, I'm going to find out.

I pulled my hand out of Ruby's and stood up, she gave me a confused glance and stopped her conversation with her minion next to her. When did that start up?

"I will see you guys at school, I need to sort some stuff out at home," I said my eyes never leaving Ruby's. In that moment; I saw something snap in her eyes. Ruby could have moments, where she reminded me of our childhood, spent together with Sash and Ryder but in times like now, she was completely different.

She narrowed her gaze on me and stood up shoving me backward, "Are you fucking serious Nathan?! You're  pathetic she clearly hates your guts except it already and stop wasting your time, You're so sad such a joke!" She chucked her low carb ice-tea all over me, people in the small dinner gasped. But I didn't bother displaying shock this was coming, Ruby's a clingy jealous girlfriend she hates when I do anything that isn't with her.

"Ohhhhh right. Yeah Sasha the waste of space!" her eyes widened but before a smirk could rise onto her face, I shut her fake reality down, "She's back Ruby last time she was here I fucked up bad, and I'm going to do what it takes to get her to trust me again, I need my family ...Now that this-" I gestured in-between the her and me, "Is over; I can focus on getting the only people who really matter in my life back; my mom and sister."

Ruby rolled her eyes but I didn't miss the small fragment of hurt in them.

She pushed past me storming out the restaurant. Taking her posey with her, to my surprise, Kevin got up and followed her out, without any hesitation or second thought.

Harsh dude.

Leaving; Cass, Russell, Seth -a friend who always hated Ruby- and Seth's girlfriend Anastasia and finally Vesper my best friend.

Everyone was silenced in shock by the dramatic show that just took place before their very eyes, that was until Vesper decided he didn't like the quietness... He chuckled, clearly amused and took a bite of the last bit of his meat burger. 

I glared at his childish behavior, making him slow his chewing and smile sheepishly at me.

Vess moved to Rockside a couple months after Mum and Sasha moved away. We immediately clicked but he was recently visiting his sick Grandfather, somewhere for a couple weeks. I never asked where, but he just got back this after-noon and that's why we all met up at my house before going out for burgers. And that's when we accidentally walked in on Sasha running from Damian who was pissed as fuck. I wonder what she did to him?

"Yo man, you good?" I turned to Vess who was busy patting my head like a dog; he never was good at comforting. People often thought of him as insensitive, I whacked his hand away and grabbed my keys, "Yeah, I'm just gonna go home, and like I said sort some things out."

"Okay," Vess got up and bid goodbyes to everyone, I arched my eyebrow at him- what's he doing?

As if reading my mind he chuckled end responded to the un-asked question, "I'm coming, I'm  not leaving you when you need me duh dumbass!"  I smiled at him and we walked out the restaurant  to my truck, "What family problems do you have now?" He asked.

"My sisters back in town, she hates my guts. Pretty sure she wants to stab me with a pointy pitch fork, I'm struggling to see the positive side of my situation." I muttered.

Vess gasped, "Omg I haven't even met this mystery sister yet! And we already have something in common! She hates you... I hate you...We are gonna be the best test of friends!!!!" He squealed like a school girl and I whacked him upside the head while chuckling.

"Don't get your hopes up man, if she hates me, well she probably hates you; as simple as that."

He rolled his eyes green eyes childishly, and protested with my pessimistic ways, "Well bro it's simply not possible to hate the great Vesper!" He mocked me.

"That's what you think, but I am living evidence that it's in-fact very possible."

This time it was his turn to whack me, we both chuckled.

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