The Replacement Girlfriend

Chapter 57

            “You’re not mad?” Chase blurted, finally looking up to see if Jace’s expression matched the calm composure presented in his voice. “Holding it in isn’t good for you man. I know I messed up and I– ”

            “If you’re going to say you want to make it up to me somehow, no thank you.” There was a smile tugging at his lips now, and when he couldn’t restrain it, Jace shook his head and let out a small chuckle. “Has it been eating you up inside for the past month?”

            “How could it not? I’m not that… I’m not that evil of a human being.”

            “Well then that’s punishment enough for not confiding in me earlier.” He smiled sadly before lowering his eyes and making some pokes and jerks at the grass. “As for what happened with LaCienega, don’t worry yourself over it. It’s my fault.”

            “What are you– ”

            “I mean it in every manner Chase. It’s my fault. I know your personality more than you give me credit for. If you had seen me with LaCienega and seen how in love I am with her, and if I had given her as much affection as she had given me, and you had seen how much happiness being with her gave me, I know that even if it killed you, you wouldn’t have touched her. Isn’t that right?”

            “Well…”

            “But the problem is that I didn’t. I hardly spent any time with her and you felt like it was unfair, that I wronged you, that you could replace me and make her happier than she was ever with me, and that was why you went ahead and did the things you did. Isn’t that right?”

            Weakly, Chase shrugged and scratched the side of his head in uncertainty. “I think you think more highly of me than you really should.”

            “I think I know you better than you do yourself,” he mused. “Anyhow, don’t worry yourself too much over it. LaCienega… she… I don’t love her. I never have. And I… I don’t think I ever can.”

            The way the conversation had drifted gave Chase a complete start. “What?” He shouted, grabbing Jace’s arm as if worried he might run off and avoid telling him the whole situation. “What do you mean you don’t love her?”

            “Why does that surprise you? You must have figured that out by now, haven’t you?”

            “Well I…” He shook his head to clear his thoughts before tightening his grip on Jace. “Wait. Wait. But you’re saying you’ve never loved her! Jace! For God’s sake, you’re going to marry this girl and tell me in the years we’ve been apart that you haven’t changed! You’re not the kind of guy that marries a girl for the hell of it and worry about divorce later. Marriage is… it’s a lifetime deal.”

            Jace’s shoulder felt immensely weak under his pressure and half afraid his poor friend was going to crumble into dust beneath his strength, Chase released him.

“I know,” Jace sighed. “You don’t have to worry about it Chase. My resolve has been decided years ago. I’ll marry LaCienega. And I will… I will spend the rest of my life with her.”

            “That’s… messed up.”

            Smiling faintly, Jace stood up to stretch his arms before doing the same with his body, moving it first left and then right as if he was also blowing through the wind like the cornstalks. “Today is a good day Chase. I think our friendship might have advanced somewhat.”

            Chase rolled his eyes, feeling somewhat distressed by their entire episode and not enjoying the pleasantry of Jace’s laughter as he chuckled about himself. “It’s nothing to laugh about.”

            “You should have seen how serious and guilty you looked when you told me what happened, though, just for the record Chase, if I had really loved her… I wouldn’t have reacted in that manner.”

            “I know.”

            “So you were lucky.”

            “I don’t know about that.”

            “But as long as we’re in the middle of this truthful confession endeavour, there’s something else I feel I must disclose to you; it’s not like I’ve been exactly wholesome either.” Turning to him, the smile on Jace’s face faded and his gaze stared with grim intensity into Chase’s eyes. “It’s about Krislynn. I think... I might be falling for her.”

            The shocked “what” that came out of Chase’s mouth was so forceful that its loudness was a pitch too high for human ears and all that intercepted into the surrounding noises was penetrating silence. Before he had a chance to gather himself from the stir in his heart, Jace shook his head and gesture him to stay still.

            “But don’t worry about that either,” he said gently. “I do really like her, but it’s not something you need to worry about. Like I said, my rightful place is beside LaCienega.” And with such a painful expression, his voice trembled out, “and that won’t ever change.”