Bloody Lips | Completed

Chapter 10

"Don't want boss to see our dirty little secrets " with that he drags himself out of my office but not before turning and giving me once over.

Dirty little secrets?

WHAT THE HELL??

He thinks it is a dirty little secret? What I am? A whore?

This is not good.

First that stranger put that note and now this.

I am not imagining that stalker. It is real but no one believe me. I had removed the note before coming here so that no one can see it if by any chance Lary or someone wish to pay visit.

I put my hands on my desk to calm my breathing. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

I'm being very angry nowadays. I should discuss it with Mr.Mark.

After I was done with my work, I collect my stuff and hurry out of the building so that I don't cross my path with Justin.

I am not able to face him now. I can't handle two things same time .

I drove towards the psychiatrist office to let my feelings off of my chest.

I really need it.

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"In my opinion you are feeling this much anger because you are starting to feel things again. You are feeling emotions now. "

"You told me you've been alone for these years and never let any person in but now you are letting people in and feeling it. " Mr Mark said.

Now i understand why it is happening.

Letting people in.

I always make this mistake and it happens.

Now I am doing this again
With Justin.

Why am I so bound in making my self suffer again and again.

"No no.. It is not a bad thing.. You should let people in. You showing emotions and feeling angry is good. You are not numb, you are feeling. It is good for mentality... "

Mentality my foot. Can't he see, i'm going already mental?

"I always let people in, i feel, and then they leave me.

They leave me with this feeling.

It is good for my mentality?

To feel like this again and again? My mind , my heart hurt. I think i will go crazy by this feeling. "It is good for mentality now? " i ask him seriously.

He looks at my face as trying to see through me but I put up a blank face. He looks in my eyes.

"Don't do this. Don't put this blank mask and let your feelings out by all your emotions and face expression. Don't hold yourself back. I'm here to help you. Okay? "

He is here to help me. But how can I help myself?? My life has become so complicated.

"Okay.." I whisper.

"Umm.. I should get going now.. " I continue and get up from the couch.

"You should come here again , Alex.. We are not over. You have to fight. " Mark's words bring tear to my eyes.

Fight.. I have to fight.

But against what? I don't know.

I get out of there and head towards home where i break down as soon as the door has been shut.