My Love Life

Confidence Is Key

It lasted for only a few seconds, but I can almost guarantee time paused and the world around me slowed down. I don't know if that's how all first kisses felt like, but mine definitely sent butterflies soaring in my stomach. Perhaps it was psychological; dancing and the good music could've gotten me in the mood or just the built up excitement of finally getting it over with. It also could've been the short kiss itself; Justin was a very confident and appealing guy and his lips felt just right on mine. 

Even so, I was too nervous to face him when we pulled away so being my awkward self, I looked away immediately. When I finally mustered up the courage to look up after taking a breath, he said with a sweet smile, "You sucked on my lips a little bit."

I was probably blushing so hard. I'm incredibly easy to read; my friends back home can always tell what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling just with one glance at my face. I laughed in embarrassment and placed my head on his shoulder, completely petrified inside from his comment.

Seeing how mortified I was, Justin tried to get me to look at him by leaning in and saying, "You're cute."

Eye-contact at awkward moments was definitely not my thing. Even though we were face to face, I could not look at him no matter how hard I tried. I just had my first kiss and was terrible at it... He must've been laughing at me inside, I thought naively. "Did I actually do that? I'm sorry, I'm terrible!" I replied apologetically. 

He nodded and said, "Yes", but before I could look down in embarrassment again, he continued to make me feel better, "I liked it though. You weren't bad, only expert kissers know to do that."

Justin was honestly so sweet and although I highly doubted everything he said, he seemed genuine and somehow made me feel comfortable. His hand securely on my waist and thumb rubbing my back in a circular motion was calming and I could be myself again. I laughed and said, "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"No, I'm for real!" 

"Oh sure. Wanna taking a break from dancing?"

"Sure." We broke apart and headed to the original sitting area and as we were walking away from the dance floor, I felt his arm go around my waist, like how boyfriends walk around with their girlfriends when they're not holding hands. Girls standing around were eyeing me enviously and for the first time, I enjoyed the feeling of being desired by a guy. 

We sat down at the round table and moved the chairs so that we were facing each other in close proximity. My legs were practically between his and since the music was loud, we had to either lean in or talk in each others' ears. It's odd describing it through words, but the way we were situated was somehow intimate. The kiss definitely changed how we talked compared to before and because it was my first, I thought there was some kind of connection between us. 

We talked for an extremely long time. There were no awkward pauses or breaks in between our conversations; I learned things about him, he listened to what I had to say and we laughed. I was having the best time of my life and couldn't believe how exciting and natural it was to flirt with a guy. The other guys I previously danced and communicated with bored me, but Justin was captivating. He was the kind of guy you wanted to hang out and enjoy your time with... there was just this confidence and interesting personality that came with his looks.

I learned that Justin played football and soccer at his high school, played piano in an orchestra, had a 96% average in senior year and even started his own business before getting into university. I was considered a pretty "smart and well rounded" student in high school with my 92% average and leadership involvement, but he made me look like a major under-achiever. He told me that he had very relaxed parents compared to my strict ones and broke up with his girlfriend of one year right before the Summer when I joked about him being a manwhore. 

"What about you? What are your hobbies?" He asked me curiously, his hand right above my knee.

"Well, I play the piano too. I go to the beach with my friends a lot and I love fund raising and doing art."

"That's cool... what do you fundraiser for?"

"The children's hospital.. It's a long story."

He nodded and soon changed the topic. "Were you the typical shy, smart girl in high school?"

"Umm well I guess you can say I was the typical smart girl, but I'm not that shy. I like communicating with people and making friends; that's part of the reason why I chose to do business in high school."

"I'm still surprised you've never had a boyfriend though!" Justin grinned at me and although that fact makes me awkward or embarrassed, he said it in a way that actually made me smile. It was almost as if he was shocked that I never had a boyfriend because I was actually a catch. 

"Yeah, I guess it just never happened. I'm the girl that gets friend zoned to be honest."

He moved closer and whispered in my ear, "Well they made a mistake." 

I could not believe what was going on at the time- I'm sure I was pinching myself to wake up from the dream. We talked some more until one of his friends came by with a girl. Justin and the friend gave each other high fives and when they left, he asked if I wanted to go back to the dance floor. I remember at one point, when the room was getting unbearably hot, he lifted up his shirt for a brief moment and I caught a glimpse of his perfectly sculpted abs. I'm pretty sure my mouth gaped opened in awe as I almost fainted.

We literally danced the night away and at 1 am, we took the last bus leaving the venue together. Unfortunately, my Frosh friends were already long gone, but his were all in the back of the bus so I was unsure if he still wanted to be with me. 

Justin's actions answered my question as he placed his arm around my waist again and guided me to the back of the bus. "I'm so tired," he sighed when we sat down. More high fives from his friends as they blatantly checked me out.

"Me too," I responded as the bus started.

"You can put your head on my shoulder if you want." 

Too tired to object, I put my head on Justin shoulder and he gently tilted his head against mine. I remember falling asleep on the bus, replaying the kiss in my head over and over again on the way back. His one hand was on my thigh and the other was stroking my cold, goose bumped arm. The warmth of his body radiated onto mine as I snuggled in.

When we arrived at the hotel and headed to the jammed pack elevator area where everyone else was also trying to get back to their rooms, Justin and I headed our separate ways into the crowd without another word. 

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Author's Note:

How'd you like this blog? Pro Justin or against him so far? Don't forget to read/comment for more stories to come!

xoxo