A new life?

7. Breaking down

Regina

My sister visited me in the morning, unfortunately without Henry. I had another session of physical therapy at ten thirty in the morning. My therapist is a nice young woman with long blonde hair pulled back into a messy bun. She goes by the nickname Tink, from Tinker Bell she explained to me. Even though she tried to be gentle and wanted to make it as easy as possible for me, I felt pretty exhausted afterwards. My back and ribs hurt an lot, but with the help of some medicine I was able to sleep. When I woke up Mary Margaret called me during her lunch break. She works as a secretary at my parents firm. She didn't have the time to visit me yet, because she is busy rearranging all the meetings and appointments. It was nice to hear what's going on. Later I finished the book I've been reading. I have more books, but I'm not in the mood for a love story. It would only make me feel more miserable. I'm not allowed to do anything here and I can't stand it anymore. Daddy refused to bring me some files to work on. Instead he told me to rest. That's all I do and I hate it. I'm not used to do nothing all day long. I can't wait to be home in a few days where I'm hopefully able to distract myself from thinking of Daniel all the time. I just need something to keep my mind busy. I'm glad my parents decided that its better for me to have my rehabilitation at home rather than at a rehab center, because I feel much more comfortable in the familiar environment of my apartment. I really want to go go outside, but I can't go alone. The nurses tell me I'm still too weak and it's too dangerous. At least my room has a huge window giving me a beautiful view over Manhattan. When I finally convinced a nurse to help me in the wheelchair, I already hate so much, I can at least enjoy the view. I must have fallen asleep somehow and now I feel someone touching my shoulder. When I turn my head around I see daddy smiling at me. A quick look at the watch on my left wrist tells me it's already five. I smile back and beg him to take me outside for a walk. He accepts my request under the condition that I wear the warm coat he brought me to protect me from catching a cold, which could easily turn into a dangerous pneumonia in my still weakened state.

Of course I protest at first, but once we are outside I'm glad he insisted on it. It is much colder than yesterday. I enjoy the fresh air nontheless. Daddy is unusual quiet and I can sense that there is something he wants to tell me. We stop at a bench near the little pond. He picks me up and helps me sit  comfortably on the bench. Then he sits down next to me while putting his arm around my shoulders. "How was your day honey?" he asks me. I carefully think about my words and what to tell him before I start "I had physical therapy again and I was tired afterwards so I decided to sleep some more. And I finished one of the books. All in all it was rather uneventful. Oh and Mary Margaret called me. She told me she is rather busy at work. You should give her a day off so she can visit me.". "I'll make sure she has free day next week." he promised me. I lean my head on his shoulder seeking comfort "Thank you" I whisper. He sighs before he begins to talk "We found someone to take care of you. His name is Robin and he agreed to stay with you 24/7 for at least the first two weeks. He is very nice and I'm confident you'll like him. Your mother isn't very fond of him, because he is not a professional, but I know his is the right one. I'll introduce you to him tomorrow. And please be nice to him. If you want to know more about him you have to ask him yourself.". I stay silent at first. A few minutes later I slowly look up at him knowing that he waits for an answer. "What do you expect me to say? That I look forward to meet him? It would be a lie. I'm not interested in the man you chose to babysit me. I don't care about him! I don't want a complete stranger living in our apartment!" my voice gets louder with every word. I sit up straight as best as I can and look at my father with anger in my eyes. I see that he is hurt by my words and I know it was wrong to talk to him like that, but at the moment I don't care. It's hard for me too to accept my new life with all the changes. That's not the life I want. I don't want a life without Daniel. I hate the fact that I'll most likely stay in that chair for the rest of my life. It's all too much for me right now. I feel weak and allow myself to leaninto daddy's arms. Tears fall down my face. He whispers soothing words to me and soon I stop crying. When I'm ready to listen he begins "Please Regina, hear me out. We only want the best for you. You need to understand that you can't take care of yourself on you own now. I thought we already agreed on that honey. What if you fall when you're alone and you can't reach a phone to call for help?". He takes a short break to give me the chance to think about his words before he continues "Don't judge Robin before you even met him. Maybe it's better for you to stay a few months at a rehab center if you are completely against the idea of having someone living with you. Then you would have different nurses taking are of you instead of just one person you can trust. The visiting hours are limited there. Your mother and I agreed that it's better for you to be at your home where you have only one person to rely on, but maybe we were wrong.". He sounds tired and defeated and I can feel how hard this decision must have been for him. I always thought it was a quick decision and not once did I actually consider how difficult the whole situation is for my parents, but now I understand what they do for me and what they are going through. I quickly weight the two options in my head. Robin really is my best chance. I feel terrible for my what I did. I need to apologize "I'm so sorry daddy. I never really thought about how hard it must be for you. I always believed I'm the only one who is suffering. I didn't know how hard you worked to give me my best chance. It's not fair to blame you for my situation and leave my pain out on you. I'm sorry for all I said and did. I'll try to get along with Robin. I'll give him a chance. Please forgive me.". I almost cry again. Daddy holds me close as he says "It's okay. You know I always forgive you honey.".

We sit in a comfortable silence for a few more minutes and I lay my head on his shoulder just like before. I'm so tired now. It doesn't take long until I begin to fall asleep in his arms. Before I'm fully asleep daddy carefully touches my arm to bring me back "We should get back to your room now. I can see you're tired.". I don't want to go back yet, but I know he is right. I am beyond tired and I can barely keep my eyes open anymore. The combination of a longer therapy session and the talk with daddy really wore me out today.

Back in my room I eat a bit of my dinner so can take my pain medication. I'm not very hungry, but I hope that will change once I get some homemade food. I lay down in my bed and talk with daddy until I'm asleep.

Again I'm having a nightmare, but this time it's different, I lost my whole family and not just Daniel like in the last dream. Before the dream is over I feel someone pulling me out of my horrible dream. When I slowly open my eyes I look at daddy. I can see worry in his eyes. I'm still shaking as he pulls me into his arms. He holds and comforts me until I calm down like he used to do when I was a little girl. "You're safe. It was just a dream. It's not real." he whispers in my ear. I slowly relax in his strong arms and my breathing evens out. He asks about the nightmare and when I'm ready I tell him everything. Just talking about it helps me a lot. It makes me feel better and helps me calm down. One of the nurses told him about my dreams and that's why he stayed with me he later confessed to me. I appreciate that he is honest with me. We talk until I begin to feel tired again. It's after ten when I'm finally sleeping again and I don't even notice him leaving. Luckily I fell into a peaceful and dreamless sleep for the rest of the night.

This was chapter seven. I'll be on vacation for the next weeks and I don't know how much time I'll have to write. So the next update might take longer.
Please like and comment your thoughts ☺️
~Julia