sinfully delicious

Chapter 23

Christopher

Confused. I was utterly confused as to what her heart could possibly desire from me in this moment. I glared at the beautiful being that Cali was, her unwashed greasy hair fluttered around her face, her swollen lips coated in a layer of saliva, her small frame sat crooked above the grassy ground. And here she was, vulnerable and completely open to my advantage.

What she didn't know is she had me wrapped around her petit little finger. She could make me do anything, a 16 year old girl.

She had me open to her advantage.

(And she didn't even know it, makes it all the more special)

"Cali". I chirped. She didn't look up at me as we both knew the words I was about to utter next, considering the ding on my phone interrupted us.

"It's time for me to leave". She finally glanced up at me. Her eyes appeared so lost, so undone with despair and disdain. Her brown eyes seemed drained of feeling, she looked at me as if I just stole her ice cream cone. But all that erupted from her throat was a simple "ok".

I sighed, leaning over and pecking her forehead. She inched away as if my lips burned her skin, as if she didn't want it. But she would just be lying to herself, cuz we both know she did.

I arose from the ground and started to walk, glancing back at Cali one more time. Her tears glistened in the setting sun and that's when I could no longer take it. My heart twinged, as the thought of what I was doing finally set in. I sat back down wrapping my long limbs around her. "I'm not going anywhere". Her muffled sniffles blocking her speaking. "Why? Doesn't mrs. brown need you?" She gasped sarcastically wiping away the liquid invading her eyes.

"So what". I simple stated shrugging my shoulders. She just stared at me, her eyes emotionless, maybe a hint of hope hiking its way in her cornea. She turned her head as if she was thinking before completely swallowing me in a kiss.

I soon felt a stinging pain capture my cheek making me wince. "Fuck was that for?" I questioned angrily. Cali, again, just glared at me with the same lost teary eyes.

"Why do you have to do that?" Her shakey voice croaked, I could almost hear the crack in my heart growing. "W-what?"

"Y-you just- you-" she couldn't even seem to choke up her words clear enough to make a sensible sentence. So she stopped herself; huffing.

She didn't need to spit out any more word vomit because I got the message. I don't know why I act the way I do, shit just goes in the moment; but I guess living in the moment ain't always a good thing.

Her irises peering into mine, no more words were exchanged; talk is cheap. She got my answer when I didn't answer...

She wasn't frozen anymore as she broke her gaze from me swallowing back the curse words she so ached to spit out at me. (I don't blame her)

"Cali". I shivered as her name so easily rolled off the tip of my tongue. Her jaw clenched, her couldn't look at me; she wasn't strong enough. So left it be. (But I couldn't stop looking at her, so I didn't)

The sun started to make its leave once the filter in the sky dimmed and lighting on California's face turned a burnt auburn red. Her eyes wallowing away at what lit was right now. (I could see it)

She was one, unrelatable person. All she desired was the help of another. Some type of advice for her situation. But what advice was there to give? (None) she felt isolated in a world of glued together perfectness (at least that's what it seemed like to her) a specimen looking from the outside in.

I know, because I've been through it. I could write a book about how she is feeling right now. And it doesn't feel good, it never feels good. The worst part is, what's fueling this feeling for her is...it's me, I'm doing it!

Selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

I need to release her. I have to let her go!...right?

I stared at her, her bare naked raw beauty. I had to let her be, she...she doesn't deserve this. I never knew until this moment how painful it's going to be to lose something I never really had...

God dammit! I'm having an internal war with myself. I opened my mouth to release the painful words, but something else came out.

"California I'm in love with you".

Do you guys believe in soulmates?

Mine is sitting next to me.

She sat, still. She said nothing besides releasing a sigh. Did I not say it loud enough? "Yeah". She stated dryly. (Ouch)

California

I didn't mean to come off as harsh, it's just something I'd expect. The "I'm in love with you" bullshit.

It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's also hard to quit when you know it's everything you want.

I know us, we, Christopher and California...is never going to happen. It's a fairy tale I made up to make it seem like my life was less shitty. But reality hit me in the face at the last minute.

"Christopher..." I trailed off. He still hasn't taken his eyes off of me. (Not that I mind)

"Mm" he hummed sounding bitter-curious.

"You're not making this any easier".

"Who said love was easy". He replied. I chuckled sarcastically at his stupidity.

"I'm constantly stuck between, if it's meant to be it'll happen, and if you want it go get it". I confessed. He sighed.

"California, I do, I love you, I'm admitting it; no more pride. You're the one I want to be-"

"Just shut the fuck up Chris". I snapped cutting him off. My throat felt like it was closing as my voice became thick.

"I get it, the whole "I love you" it's BULLSHIT! Cuz it is never going to happen, Chris! Don't you even see? You have a daughter, a wife, 'I can divorce her cali' don't even give me that bullshit either, cuz then I'll believe you! And then I know for sure I will be waiting for you and wishing for you! And it will never actually happen...just like every other teacher, student story you hear about..." I ranted. Soon my voice came to a quiet whisper.

"Just let it go Chris...we lost, it's not going to happen".

"No". He grunted.

"What?"

"I said no". He growled, a fire igniting in his eyes. "I am not about to give up the 'little piece of heaven' I actually have! Baby girl we will be together! Please just don't give up on me! You're the one! My one! my one...". He cooed.

"I am not a strong enough person to let you go, i-im weak baby".

Tears glided down my face, pain seeped in my heart, baby we were so close...but it's time to let go...

"That is why I am letting you go Christopher...you may be weak, but I- I have to do this for myself, I love myself more than I will ever come to love any man. This, us, it's destructive, it's toxic and I don't want it anymore...yes the dream is amazing, not enough to keep me waiting for you, I don't need you, and you certainly don't need me".

He glared at me, lost; like I had two heads. But again nothing was spoken. I refused to look in his eyes. I knew what was in them, something to powerful for me. I needed to do this, right?

"Goodbye Christopher".

Ayooooooooo!!!!!!!

Oh shit! This bitch is back

Guys pray for me, hurricane Matthew ain't no joke bih😂❤️

So how you feel about Cali saying bye bitch?

Oh boy y'all are in for a treat next chapter ahaaaaa

Love you freaks 💜😉👅