Hidden [h.s]

SEVENTY-THREE

"Of course I'm glum. You left me."

"I didn't leave you, Rosie. I've been with you this whole time."

I shake my head, pulling over onto the shoulder of the highway.

Now I'm apparently getting nightmares while I'm awake, too. What do you call that? A day-mare?

I'm losing my mind. I try to steady my breathing, staring out at the dark road. My eyes slowly move to the tattered brown journal in the seat next to me.

No matter how much I over think it, the journal was sent to me. This isn't a coincidence, I was intended to receive this.

I carefully pick up the book, setting it in my lap. I run my fingers over the worn leather. Small stars are etched into the bottom right corner of the front cover, and if lost, please return to Harry Styles is written neatly at the top.

So many questions pop into my head, and I haven't even opened it yet.

If Harry was so defensive about letting me read this before, why was it sent to me? Is he really dead, and someone is giving away all his things? Did Violet find it and want me to have it, or Gemma?

I shut off my mind and open the journal.

The first letter I have already read. I feel a pang of guilt for being so nosy before, but I continue reading anyway.

The first few pages consist of more letters to his mother. The years increase as I flip through, drinking in every word.

I pause when I reach a certain letter.

8 September 2013

Mum-

Today someone moved into Violet's old apartment. It's a girl, and as far as I know she lives alone. I .w her moving boxes in earlier with Alec's nephew. I only assume they're together, although she must be insane for dating scum like him.

I went over about an hour ago to just see for myself that someone is living there. Maybe I was a dick to her, but I don't care. If she's upset with me for talking to her like that, she can move the hell out.

I guess she has a nice name, anyway.

It's Rose. Her name's Rose.

I stop reading.

This letter is from the day we met, the day we snapped at each other for the first time. Although I knew he hadn't liked me in the least at first, it's still a bit shocking to read Harry's bitter words about me.

I turn the page.

10 September 2013

Mum-

Rose works with me. Not only with me, I feel compelled to add, but approximately six feet from me. Every time I look at her, I just see Violet. I mean, not in looks, but in symbolism, perhaps. She lives exactly where Violet did, for Christ's sake.

If you were here you'd tell me to at least try to be nice, but I can't. I can't find a single thing about her that doesn't remind me of something dark, and I hate that. But if that's how it is, so be it.

15 September 2013

Mum-

Something's wrong with me.

Aaron didn't pick up Rose today front work. so I offered her a ride. I don't know, she seemed so upset and we even played twenty questions, like you and I used to. She's got a nice smile, give her that. It's one of those smiles you just want to smile along with, you know? God, I sound like an idiot.