illuminate.

4/5

Like This;

For two weeks Camila doesn't hear a thing about Lauren. Nothing.

It's like the older girl suddenly dropped into a black hole.

Ironically enough, Camila feels like she took her heart with her.

Somehow the saying out of sight, out of mind does not apply to this situation, because all Camila can think about it, well Lauren.

And then, it happens.

Camila is out with Niall and Ariana when her phone rings and it's an unknown number.

"I'll be right back." She excuses herself before leaving into another room

"Hello?"

"Camz... hey."

It was enough for Camila's hear to stop beating for a moment, it was enough to bring tears to her eyes and she hated herself that Lauren still has power over her.

"Camz? Are you here? I miss you. I miss your voice, and your stupid smile, and your cute laugh and giggles and cuddles and I miss your smell, is that weird? I miss your hugs. I miss getting an exclusive look into your mind. I need you."

If Camila thought she's strong enough to go through this, she was wrong because she found herself in tears, trying not to sob because god did she miss Lauren too.

It's easy to get lose in words from people you love, it's even easier when it's Lauren's calming voice telling you all of it.

"L-Lauren?"

"Camz, I miss you. Can you come over?"

The rational thing to say would be no but somehow Camila blurts "I'll be there soon." before she has a chance to even think about it.

She gives a lame excuse to Ariana and Niall before she leaves Ariana's house.

Camila finds herself going to Lauren's house almost every day from that night. She comes there and she and Lauren watch a movie or two, cuddle a little, make out maybe and then Camila goes home.

Camila feels like this will be the end of her, because it's all getting too much.

When they are alone in Lauren's room it's like nothing has changed but then, when they are in class or around one of their friends, it's like they haven't talked since they broke up.

And then, it wasn't just innocent hugs and making out, it's Lauren coming over when she's drunk or high, it's Lauren walking in through the window almost every other night and it's Lauren coming over whenever she's horny and it's Lauren using Camila's body to let go, and it's Camila letting her do it all because she loves her too much to tell her not to do so.

And it's Camila crying herself to sleep because it fucking hurts too much and there's nothing she can do.

But it's not like Lauren is leading her on, because she made her intentions clear.

"I do have a few rules though; nothing happens in public, what happens in the room stays there, between the two of us only. And no matter what happens, what we have, there's no way it'll be official again. I love you but it can't."

Camila only swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded, faked a smile and kissed the older girl.

And every day she stares at Lauren in the school, but the older girl doesn't even turn around, she has Lucy and she has

Rowand and that's all that she really needs. And it's like Camila never even existed.

And when Camila sees Lauren in wearing black skinny jeans, a T-shirt with a print and a black leather jacket she curses under her breath because Lauren looks so fucking hot and there's nothing she can do about it until tonight, if she's lucky.