"Just listen to me, Harley." Joker grabbed Harley's arm before she ran off. "You're mine, remember?" He warned his gleeful wife, who giggled and strutted into the club with her hips swaying side to side.
"Watch out, boys!" Harley yelled, "Precious cargo coming through!" She made her presence loud and clear, before propping down her mallet on the incredibly polished floor.
One man in the club audience shouted out, "Mmm, get ready for this, lads." as Harley prepared herself for the music to begin playing.
Joker watched from a distance, sitting himself down on a white leather couch, fitted with drink holders and small ash trays.
Puffing smoke through his pipe, Joker frowned as he watched his wife bring up a man onto the stage, beginning to dance on him. The pipe in his hand was suddenly crushed by the madman himself, as Harley put her lips against another man's, laughing along with him and the other drunk men in the club.
But lucky for Joker, a change of song and beat caused Harley to stop dancing, as a slower paced 80s hit began to play.
Sighing with relief, the green-haired man relaxed on the couch, feeling the money roll in by the second.
"This day couldn't be spoiled." Joker muttered to himself as Harley wandered over, mallet in hand.
"Hey, Puddin'." She whispered, sitting on top of Joker and locking lips with him for a good twenty seconds.
He grinned, laughing through kisses. "I see you found another man, then." He joked, as Harley's smile morphed into a frown.
"What? No, I was just danc---"
"I'm kidding, honey." He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her down to him once more, before suddenly being cut off the kisses by a loud squealing.
Throwing Harley off his lap, Joker stood up and looked over to where the commotion was taking place.
A large group of women were standing by the entrance, and stood huddled over two small children.
'They look oddly familiar' Joker thought, before he gasped in horrid realisation.
"No, no, no!" He face-palmed himself, as Harley stood up and walked over to him.
"What is it?" She asked, turning her attention to the two children being carried over by Rocco and Danny.
"What?!" She cried, "This was supposed to be a kid-free weekend!" Harley screamed, stomping her feet as Jack ran straight for his mother's legs.
"Hi, mommy!" The little three year-old yelled through the music, his mother wincing in mental pain.
"I'm sorry, boss! Jack wanted to see you and Lucy wouldn't stop crying!" Rocco nervously spoke.
Danny placed Lucy straight into Joker's arms, who fake smiled his henchman and turned away.
"Hi, sweetheart." Joker unenthusiastically spoke, kissing Lucy's forehead and sitting down.
"So much for date night." Harley muttered, placing Jack on her knee and resting heads with Joker's.
"Next time, I'm choosing the baby-sitters." Harley spoke with exhaustion, as she was forced to breast-feed her daughter inside the club.
As people continued to stare and laugh at the hopeless parents, Joker bowed his head and shouted to them, "Haven't you got better things to do?" He shook his head and spat at the ground, "Scum-bags."
Jack took good notice of his father's actions, before the little boy spat on the floor and yelled, "Scum-bags!"
This only created a larger group of women crowding around the little family, two of which awkwardly sat on the couches minding their children.
"Aww!" One girl squealed, taking out her phone and snapping a picture with Jack, who wasn't at all bothered by the attention.
"Oh..my..god!" Another yelled, pointing to Lucy, who was lifted upright by Harley.
Pulling her dress back into its normal position, the blonde-haired woman clasped her daughter tightly to her chest.
"Look, ladies. I know I've got cute kids, but here's the thing: THEY'RE AREN'T YOURS!!" She stood up and stared at the shocked group of girls who stuck up their noses, before walking away.
As Harley sat down, Joker widened his eyes.
"Didn't know you still had it in you." He sniggered, folding his arms together.
Harley shook her head, placing Lucy down nicely on the couch.
"Sometimes I have my bad days." She shrugged, brushing her daughter's hair down smoothly.
"Well, this was a complete disaster." Joker sighed, taking his phone out and calling a cab.
Looking over her husband's shoulder, Harley crossed her eyebrows. "Wait, what about he Lamborghini?" She asked, to which Joker assured her,
"I'll get Rocco to drive it back to the house. We need more space for the four of us." He put the phone to his ear and quickly ordered a cab to arrive at the club.
As a yellow taxi pulled up by the side entrance, Joker nudged Harley's shoulder. "It's here." He spoke, scooping up Lucy in his arms and rushing to the door.
Harley grabbed Jack's hand and attempted to pull along the worn out child, before eventually picking him up into her arms.
"C-mon, sweetie." She whispered, Jack beginning to close his eyes.
Once safely seated in vehicle, Joker informed the driver of the address, and rocked Lucy back and forth in his arms.
By this point, both children had found sleep, peacefully resting in the back of the car.
Harley yawned, "Maybe we can sort another day to---" Joker held a hand to her face.
"Excuse me," Joker spoke to the driver, "You've actually driven past our house." He said, pointing backwards to where the house sat quietly.
The driver nodded and smirked, "Yeah, I know."
With a look of confusion, Joker asked the man, "What do you mean? Can't you just take us to our house?"
The driver shook his head and continued to drive along the darkened road. "Sorry, Mister. No can do." The driver spoke, "The boss wants to see you."
Harley grabbed her seat, "Puddin', what's going on?" She asked in terror, as her husband shook his head and pulled out his handgun.
"Look, we can do it the easy way," Joker muttered, "Or the hard way," he placed a finger in the trigger, but lost grip of the gun as the car came to a sudden halt.
Unbuckling his seatbelt, the driver pointed to a large mansion in front of them. "We're here." He said, opening the doors for both Joker and Harley.
Stepping out of the vehicle, Joker closely held Lucy to him as Harley carefully picked up Jack.
"Mistah J? Why didn't ya shoot him?" Harley whispered, as her husband leaned into her. "Someone's expecting us here. So an unexpected death may not look good on our side." He whispered back, following the driver up the stone path to the house.
YOU ARE READING
Puddin' 3 | Mad Love
Fanfiction'Four smiles are stronger than a whole city of frowns' said the green-haired man to his wife. With a little psycho family on his hands, Mr J has a few beneficial plans of his own, not to mention a criminal record he intends to hide from the in-laws...
