Stephanie's Choice

The Diagnosis

The year is 2017...
"Good night, little bear. Mommy loves you so much" Stephanie whispers as she plants a kiss on her one year old daughter's forehead just as she sets her down for bed on a windy December day in California.

As Stephanie stares lovingly at her peacefully slumbering daughter in awe, she begins to reflect about how far they have come together as a team; as a family. Even though it may seem as if they have everything they could ever want (a roof over their heads, food on the table and a family that loves them), Stephanie knows deep down that the journey to it all wasn't the easiest. Once Stephanie has settled herself into the bed next to her daughter's crib, she tucks a stray strand of blonde hair back behind her ear and starts to reminisce about her journey through the vortex of motherhood (as her older sister, DJ would put it).
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A little over a year ago...

"Someone is getting sucked into the vortex of motherhood" DJ teased Stephanie with a nudge as the middle Tanner sister revealed that she really enjoyed spending time with her nephews.

"I wouldn't exactly phrase it like that. I've just come to realize how much I love those boys" Stephanie chuckled lightly as she shrugged one shoulder.

"Don't you ever want to settle down and have some kids of your own?" DJ asked with a hopeful grin as she began to envision herself become an aunt to an adorable girl or boy that would look like a carbon copy of their mother.

DJ's question echoed in Stephanie's head like a demonic whisper as she thought about the doctor's visit she had back in England. Her heart started to pound and her palms began to sweat as the memory of the devastating news came flooding back to her.

~X~

It was a brisk Tuesday in the fall before moving in with DJ and Stephanie wasn't feeling all too great. Upon realizing that she was a couple weeks late, she decided to run to the nearest drug store and purchase a home pregnancy test. The time that Stephanie spent staring at the urine soaked plastic stick felt like the longest two minutes of her life. Just as she was about to turn away, the timer on her phone had rung and the results were in. Negative.

A medley of emotions coursed throughout Stephanie's soul as she took some time to process the results alone in the creme coloured walls of her London studio apartment. On the one hand, she was grateful that it was negative. It meant that nothing would prevent her from continuing to travel the world to make music. But on the other hand, Stephanie was overcome with a deep attachment and love for someone that she didn't even know existed; which made her question how it could have happened.

So, she sought out help from a doctor named Charlie Foxworthy.
Charlie Foxworthy was a tall and ruggedly handsome doctor in his mid-thirties; Stephanie assumed he was not that much older than her. He had a head of raven black hair that she knew Uncle Jesse would be proud of, a matching finely trimmed goatee and the most astounding and sparkly blue eyes.

After chatting with Charlie for approximately 15 minutes and conducting an exam, Stephanie learned that her uterus was an inhospitable environment; which meant that she could get pregnant but maintaining a pregnancy would be difficult. The fetus would not live very long and the chances of it making it through to full term were slim. If it did survive, the baby would either be stillborn or met with a series of health complications from being born premature.

Stephanie went home that afternoon with a heavy heart and soaked up her troubles I a vat of cookie dough ice cream before she was booked to play at an 18th birthday party.

~X~

"Steph, are you okay? Is something wrong?" DJ asked as she placed a gentle hand on Stephanie's shoulder once Stephanie came back to reality.

"Yeah, but I don't want to talk about it" Stephanie responded dismissively as she took DJ's hand off her shoulder.

"You can tell me anything and you know that" DJ encouraged as she proceeded to folded Tommy's laundry.

Upon realizing how nurturing and understanding her older sister was, Stephanie decided to tell her the truth. After taking a deep cleansing breathing, Stephanie turned around and told DJ that she couldn't have children.

The revelation absolutely broke DJ's heart as she thought back to her own kids and how lucky she was to have them; especially after her husband's passing. But knowing that her sister, who was a natural with her sons, could never have kids of her own made it seem like the Tanners world had come to an abrupt stop. Stephanie then went on to reveal that she never told DJ because they were in different countries, DJ had just lost her husband and she wasn't really thinking of starting a family then anyway. It would have been nice to know that it was an option. But now it wasn't.

DJ engaged her younger sister in their fourth hug within the minute; much like their father, Danny would have done. She calmly and comforting told Stephanie that everything was going to be okay. Her kids were Stephanie's kids and they loved her. Stephanie sighed as she thanked DJ for being there for her. It was a blessing for Stephanie to know that she was not alone during this dark time in her life.