Freshmen Year

Bruises

*Part 15*

“MACKENIEZ!!! Get out of the shower!!” my mom yells at me through the door.

            Ugh! She pulls me from my safe thoughts about Harry and reminds me that Zayn’s in the next room. I stop the water and being to dry myself off; I look at my razor hiding spot and wonder if I could now? I look at the pinkish wounds left from the night before… nah I’d rather not. I dress myself as slow as I can before the door is knocked on once again.

“I’m getting dressed as fast as I can mom!”

            I step out into the hallway and see my mom standing in front of me with her arms crossed. What could I have possibly done now?

“What?” I ask

“What were you doing?”

“Umm taking a shower?” I answer with questionability

“Was Zayn awake when you went in there.?”

“No mom he wasn’t no one was. It’s only like 7 am. What are you doing up?” I question he back.

“Your dad called.”

            I roll my eyes and walk into my sisters room and put my dirty clothes away. My mom goes back to talk to my grandma, I really want to get out of the house I do have swimming practice Monday I wasn’t planning on going but it looks that is my only escape plan. Ugh how sad is that, I have to escape my house because my mom and boyfriend are both going to be here all the time. Maybe I should have cut because I can already feel that tears building behind my eyes. No, I will not let any fall in front of any of them I need to be strong… like I used to be.

“The girls have school one more day. Will you pick them up after?” my mom asks.

“Sure.” I answer without looking at her

            I totally forgot it was only a Thursday, I got out of school a day before my sisters. I don’t think anything of it as I walk to the kitchen and get a cup of coffee, I feel arms wrap around my waist. It’s Zayn … I kind of fake a jump and a smile to make him think that I’m happy to see him.

“Hey you.” He says

“Hi.”

“How was your night?”

“Fine.” I lie

“Good I’m going to call my brother to see if they will let me go home.”

            I nod and go back to my business, I really hope he can go home. Although on the outside I have to show that I don’t want him to go. As he leaves the room my aunty come up the stairs from her part of the house.

“Mack I was going to say if you help my clean out my craft room Zayn could stay there for the time being.”

“He’s not staying.” I snap.

“What?”

“I mean I don’t think he’ll be here that long.” I fake a smile and my mistake of word choice.

            Am I that stupid? She smiled and went into the living room I slip on my slippers and step out the back door and the morning air hit my skin. I take in the sun light and drink my coffee. I sit on the steps and my dog Alie runs to my side happy as can be. She’s the only one in this house besides my grandma I could really trust. My mom quickly ruins my bliss by opening the door.

“Mack what are you doing?”

“Sitting outside with the dog.” I don’t look back.

“Come inside its freezing.”

            I stand up and roll my eye I go to the living room couch and sit next to Zayn with tears in his eyes. He grabs my hand and I want to pull away but I don’t.

“What did they say?” I ask softly

“They don’t want me there.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t follow our religion like they do, and because I see you.”

            I stand up as I’m insulted, why would they say that about me. What’s wrong with me!?!? Nothing they are just jerks that’s what. I stop talking for the remainder of the day until three o’clock the time my sisters get out of school. It’s within walking distant and I wanted to alone time. I get up and get ready to go and so does Zayn.

“Can I go alone please?” I request.

“Why? Don’t you want to be alone with me for a second?”

“Later yes, but I honestly need a minute okay.”

            I turn to walk away, but he tightly grabs my arm. He pulls me back roughly and makes me look at him. I want to cry because how tight his grip is, but I keep quite.

“You don’t need alone time Mackenzie we have talked about this haven’t we?”

            I nod and turn back and he finally let’s go. I quickly put on my coat so that no one will see the purple bruise forming on my arm where he had held on the tightest… honestly not my first bruise he has given me but I don’t know how to hide this one. Guess I’ll have to figure it out. I step outside again and Zayn follows close behind me, I keep my hands in my pockets so that he won’t hold it. I feel sad that I’m doing this to myself because I know it’s not right at all. And yet here I am self-loathing in thought about my imperfect life, I’m not trying to be a drama queen but honestly life shouldn’t revolve around abusive boyfriends.

            We arrive at my sister’s school and I walk around the build to wait at her classroom door. Zayn tightly grabs my arm in the same place he did before and I make the pain shaper. I want to smack him across the face, but I don’t I should but I don’t. Ariana comes running out of her classroom and to me and Zayn. I walk a little further for my other sister Celine, she comes out crying because she’s going to miss her friends.

            We walk around to the front of the big elementary school build as if going in a circle. Out of nowhere I feel a feeling that I haven’t felt in months, a feeling that I would only get if I was with Harry. I felt his eyes on me but it couldn’t be, there is no way. I slowly look up as we walk and see him walking towards us. He’s right there right in front of me, I huge smile runs across my face. But nothing on his, him and his friends finally pass us and I watch him walk away. My smile is about to turn into tears and I can’t believe that any of this is happening to me. I thought that once I started thing with Harry they would never end that we would be happy together forever and nothing else would matter. Now I feel stupid, like I’m such an idiot that I was so blind to all these games. Harry hurt me and now I know that he doesn’t miss me and never wants to see me again…