November 5, 2016
The day went unlikely to call it a normal day.
Parang kahapon, walang gumawa ng kahit anong katarantaduhan sa akin. I want to laugh, sarcastically. Ito 'yung pangarap ko noon. Ang tantanan ako ng lahat. Ang lubayan na nila ako. Ang patahimikin na nila ako dahil nasisira na ang buhay ko!
Pero ngayong sang-ayon na ako sa kanila, sa paninira nila sa buhay ko, tsaka naman nila ako nilubayan.
Nakakatawa, sobra.
Sandy and I barely talk. Ayoko muna siyang kausapin kahit pa ang dami na niyang kwento sa akin. At naroon ulit si Chad, ang crush niya.
Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, Daddy is there, cooking again.
Smiling at me, throwing questions to me as if he really cares about my day.
As if he really cares about my life, about my situation, about me.
Tinanong niya ulit ako.
Kamusta ang school. Kamusta ang araw ko. May bago raw ba sa araw ko? Gutom na ba ako. Gusto ko ba raw siyang sabayan kumain?
And I didn't answer. I didn't bother him at all.
Pagpasok ko sa k'warto ko, I slammed the door. I didn't cry. The best feeling I ever had... I guess.
For fucking sake, not crying is damn good.
I feel brave.
I feel stronger.
I feel bolder.
I feel like, hey, Matteo is it you?
Is it Matteo, the Lampador?
Then I'll answer, no. Ayoko na no'n. Nakakapagod.
Then something went inside my mind. Na para bang sa buong buhay ko, ito na ang pinakamagandang ideya na naisip ko.
What if, the situation turns upside-down?
What if the Lampador, becomes the next bully?
That will be fun... right?
BINABASA MO ANG
Diary of a Feeble
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