My Alpha Mate I Hate (Editing/rewriting. )

really??

Sophia ..p...o..v... 

Did i really just tell him that? 

One of my bigest secret, no one but my dad and Matt know this, because really i never wanted anyone to know, he's just watching me wide eyed. 

"Oh my gosh."he says  

"Yeah." i say,  I look down, i cant look at him right now , im scared okay, he puts his hand on my chin and makes me look up at him. 

"That's Okay, but why would you hide that?" he asks, 

"Cause i just did." i say, i dont know what to say to him really, im lost, uhg . 

"Why?"he says wanting a answer

"I didn't like it i didn't wanna be one." i say in a whisper, 

"Oh well, why not?" he says not understanding , i didnt think he would,

"I didn't want a mate, or a pack, i didnt want to be a part of that," i say 

"Oh, well uh when did you change?" he asks

"Last winter." i say remembering it all too well, changeing isnt easy is very painfull,you feel like you'r dying,  

"Ah when you were out for the flu?" he asked 

"Yup."  

"Hum..aw man you changed before me!" he says , I laugh at him, he's weird,  

"Hey will you stop hideing now? will you come out and be part of the pack?" he asks looking hopefull, which made it worse , 

"No." i say flatly

"Why not?!"  he demands

"I don't want too yet ." i say 

"Fine, but you have to at some point, you cant hide out the rest of you'r life! " he says and he kisses my hand,  I sigh. 

"I know, but im just not ready yet okay." i say

"Okay, but what did you plan on doing with out a pack?"he asks

"When i finished school i planed on leaving, going some where else and no one would have to ever know."

"Really?"

"Yeah.." i say looking away for a moment, i guess running its goingto happen anymore, and really i dont want to leave anymore.

"So....now what?"he asked looking at me and plays with my hair, 

"I don't know." 

"Will you give me a chance?" he asks looking at me with a desprate hopefull look that kills me to say no too, 

"I don't know what too do about this Kyle." i tell him truthfuly, he sighs. 

"Ok i can wait as long as you need."  

"Truth is i don't wanna wait."i say  

"Um ok now I'm lost."  he says giving me a look, i dont answer him, I jump on him and kiss him again, I tangle my hands in his hair,  but then after a few moments i pull back for air. 

"Sophia, This isn't going any where ok?" he says warning me,

"Don't you want me?" i say a little hurt, didnt he want me? 

"Yes,i do so verey verey much, but i want you too want this." he says giving me a sweet look 

"I do." i say looking at him,

"No Sophia please you said you don't want too go too fast, " he says I look down at him, 

"Uhg its not like I'll be with anyone else so why not now?" i say  

"Cause...i want it too be ...amazing and romantic for you , not something rushed," he says  

"That's sweet." i say looking at him, he nodds, softly petting my hair, 

"Fine." i say,I move and get up out of his bed 

"Hey wait! i didn't say the kissing had too stop." he says reaching out for me, I smirk at him. 

"Sorry nope." i say, he sits up and gives me a sad look, 

"B-but, dont leave please," he says begginf and its to sad for me to tell him no,

"Im not, look let me Cook for you, I'm starving." i say

"Um okay." he says siting up, He gets up out of the bed and I go into his kitchen , while he gets dressed, i start too look around for food, not finding much, 

"Hum you don't cook much do you?" i say as he walks in the room,

"No i do not." he says laughing 

"We'll have to go shopping then but later," i say 

I pull out the carton of eggs and he gets out a pan  and i crack the eggs and cook them for us, then he gets plates and i put them on them and set them on his small table, we sit down and we eat. 

"So I'm guessing you're going too stay?" he asked hopefull,

"I guess as long as you don't go all psycho on me." i warn him, smiling 

"Baby I'm already crazy,and you make me crazier." he says smirking 

"Well as long as you don't get to much worse, and be nice" i say 

"That i can do." he says 

Then we eat in silence, but its nice like we dont need to talk, we're both happy with things right now, i really want to be with him, and i'll try, i have to face the fact not all love ends badly, sometimes it does but you just have to have faith,

 Maybe this wont end well,  but maybe it will, either way i know i cant just run anymore, i have to face it, he's my mate, and he loves me, and i think i love him too,

As crazy as that sounds.

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