Dominating Love ✓

[Chapter Fifty-Two]

The benefits of a natural birth outweighed everything and from the start, I want to give them the best life that I could. My diet and the way I chose to deliver them was what I could do and it was a small sacrifice if it meant that I could give them a healthier start. Jill recommended that we have the bag packed for the hospital now and that we have everything, including car seats, ready. The babies were developing wonderfully, but with pregnancy you never know.

She also started mentioning that awful, terrible term.

She was the doctor, yes; but my job wasn't physical. If I could sit in a bed all day why couldn't I sit in the car, take the elevator and sit at my desk instead? Apparently desk sitting was not the right position. Jill and I went back and forth on this issue and Chase was siding with her.

We came to a decision that when she did decide to put me on bedrest, I could go to work. But only if I lay down on my couch and don't sit at my desk for more than an hour a day. Chase woul dmake sure of that too, I have no doubt about it. She wasn't putting me on bedrest yet but she did tell me to take it easy.

No more working out and only light walks. Sex was still okay if it wasn't rough; damn it. My blood pressure was fine, my levels were fine, no bleeding, no weakening cervix. The only reason she was restricting me was so I could carry them longer and I dreaded when she did cut the sex and working off.

She warned me that she wanted to see me in two weeks and we would go from there. There was this sinking feeling that in two weeks I would be confined to a bed with no sex. She also said what when she did cut off sex it would be all forms to prevent my body from contracting.

Pregnancy was so much more complicated than just eating healthy and getting bloated everywhere to form and carry a human. So many little things that they told you not to do. Some people could have sex up until the day they give birth but she didn't want to risk it with me; especially since miscarrying.

Regret became this weight in my stomach; why did I ever tell him no to sex for those couple months? Next time I would be prepared for this; hopefully next time I'll just be having one baby. There would be a next time though; I had a rocky start, but I loved being pregnant. But what I would love more than being pregnant with Markus and Maria is to be half this size and create one small human and not two.

This doctor's appointment and the last few weeks put a lot into perspective for us. We got food and went home to pack the bag for the hospital. This was more than just any bag to us though. Instead of throwing it together we put thought into what we should bring. The clothes I would wear out of the hospital would be closer to the size I was when I was just starting to show.

How weird is it that you spend months watching your stomach grow into this huge, bulging belly; then as soon as you're holding that baby your stomach is instantly smaller. I've been around pregnancy enough to know that I'm going to be far from my normal size, but it is weird that this seven or so pound object is no longer in you in what feels like hours but an instant at the same time.

Chase thought that clothes to leave were all I would need and we were so unprepared for what would be happening after. I was glad that I looked up things that you need.

Until that article I thought I would have to just sit in the hospital gown for a few days until I was discharged; I was very wrong. Girls were packing yoga pants, black shorts, their own pajamas and nightgowns. The article gave me so much relief and I shuffled through my closet again.

Yoga pants went in, my black yoga shorts, a onesie that I usually wore in the winter since it unbuttoned in the front so I could attempt to breastfeed. In went the slippers and comfortable and lose t-shirts. In went the nursing tank tops that Monica and Rochelle swore I needed.