It (#Wattys2016)

hi, i'm a man

Hi, I'm a man.

Isn't it great?

We're a brute force, a body of masculinity, identity, superiority

And never with insecurities,

Because we are the symbol of purity, of upper strength and bulging muscles

Of protruding veins and sweaty pants

And workout sessions for muscles you didn't know a person could even have,

"Come, have a touch of these biceps!" we'll say,

"Or, if that doesn't tickle your fancy, these triceps perhaps."

And I'll pretend that somehow along the way of being a man

I miraculously forgot my irrational fear of

Pulling my sleeves up.

Hi, I'm a man.

Isn't it great?

I run on protein shakes and bacon strips,

Hydrated by the ninth bottle of beer I've had in the past two hours.

I push these textbooks and assignment questions aside because, as men, we don't do books.

We can't.

We're the tigers out on the soccer field, you see, aces of the nation, bodybuilders of the century.

We're warriors seeking battles that know no name nor reason because

We're not meant to care.

We're supposed to be men.

Yes, I am a man.

Isn't it great?

Not to care, cry, write, feel, wither.

Except when you do.

To play soccer, work out,

Hate books, scream, shout

Laugh at "The Fault in Our Stars" because it was so gay.

Be numb.

Except when you don't.

I wonder

What would that make me?

Am I still a man if I'd rather choose books over babes?

Am I still a man if I'd rather choose shopping over soccer?

Am I still a man if I'd rather choose feelings over fraternities?

Am I still a man?

What am I?

Hi.

Apparently, the equation is simple.

If I don't spend my mornings sweating a tsunami

And my evenings kicking a football

And my nights hitting on innocent girls,

Then, apparently, I'm not one, even though I think

No, I know 

I am.

You can say you're ashamed of me.

It's okay.

Say you're humiliated by the way I talk and act and dress and be.

Beat me up, laugh at me, shove my head into the toilet,

Tell me to kill myself, scribble all the graffiti you want, bully my feelings away.

It's okay.

I shall still be me.

And no matter what you do, no matter what you say, I'm certain.

I am certain that I am indeed

A man.

Maybe not masculine enough for you but yes,

Ladies and gentlemen,

Hi, I am a man.