One Pie of Experience and Two Pies of Ecstasy

Day 12

Dear Journal,

I wake up with glee; finally the 'last' day here, the day of 'the cruise' has come. Everything seems interesting: the premises, boarding buses, even the all-time cereal and milk at breakfast table. That is something from a person like me who is not a cereal-breakfast person. Actually, I'm not even a breakfast person or a morning person for that matter.

But anyway, my restless mind is intense enough to demonstrate itself on my deeds too, like

a) I gobble up the flakes

b) Hurry out of breakfast hall and jump onto the bus.

c) Trip over several things on my way (Oops)

After all, it is a great day. It has to be one! I am going to the Cruise!!!!! (Without a date though).

Most of the other delegates have something in common which I do not; they are politics 'nerds' and they have been elatedly hung around for this moment: the global summit, inside the United Nations. Don't ask me! I am only present physically. The only activity I do, involves a few clicks of my own. So, well, let's swap to the latter then – when I am actually more 'slot in'.

The bus gives us a ride to the Rockefeller shopping center.

This is how I go in: blazer, skirt, shoes and a greedy beam widening through my lips.

After 3 hours, this is how I come out: evident nerves stretched in my hands loaded with shopping bags, a hair-do pleasing my eyes that always complain of hair on its way, a twitch of deceiving red painted over my lips, clad in shiny maroon sleeveless gown with stockings wrapped to my legs and standing proudly on six inch high heels (A classy lady). Okay, okay. You got me. I'm lying. Well, truthfully, everything minus the six inch high heels. Didn't really think I would do that again, did you? I wear flats instead but they were pretty.

Salma, Mian and Roa (A first generation American whose idea of heaven is a library – I love her) also get changed in the girl's washroom; I have not seen the others yet then.

Shortly after comes the heart-racing moment, the bus jumping with life and delight every Kilometer. The fun thing about riding buses here is that you have excellent Wi-Fi. A big poster near the windshield reads "Wi-Fi name: quicksbus – Password: quicksbus". But the music is the best part still. I almost hark back to the 'field trips' at school, my friends would probably be so much fun. Enough of the syndrome, Mr. Missing-everyone-back-in-KSA! How long will you feed on me?

Alright, back-pedaling to the GYLC celebration on cruise, I rush to the seat illuminated with orange distant lights from skyscrapers dissolving through the window as soon as I get onto the vessel. It begins to move; cutting through the plain surface of the water and leaving behind ripples. Not long later, I am made to hurry out to the deck with Salma and Mian by none other than my purely unsatisfied mind. I stand there hanging out the railing like Jack from The Titanic feeling all I-am-the-king-of-the-world. I feel the wind push against my skin and hurrying through my hair. I see the Hudson River below stretching into the vast Atlantic ocean and the statue of liberty above (It is so large). And then it starts raining. What did you think I would do? It is the second time I give myself up wholly to 'the offering from the sky' but the only time that it turns out to be a horrible idea. Immersed in mirth, I realize only too late that every cell alive in my frame is vigorously trembling but the rain hasn't even stopped yet. If I go downstairs now to the air-conditioned levels where most are on the dance floors, I will die. That's when I start to notice my surroundings. A cliché romantic set-up – everybody on deck other than us is a couple either kissing or hugging or boyfriends taking their coats off to keep their girls warm. Seriously? I am not especially a sentimental person, never have been. But all these years when I didn't want to commit, when I never was ready really, this didn't happen and now that I am in a relationship, I get to remind myself hey, your boyfriend is a million fucking miles away.

True- that I am soon to be a frost pie with flu, but I miss that guy, god-damn-it! Don't get me wrong, it is not a physical temptation or anything (I am not that type). I just miss him; just want to see him - that is all.

Luck shows up late as always. We spent the rest of the way sitting under the shade of a little bar-like-stall talking heartily and get off the ship at 12. By then, my blood is halfway frozen, I'm sure, but even the still-chilly air feels welcoming like an incubator of coziness after an hour or two in the refrigerator. I hush back inside, my teeth jittering- clearly only a 'curtailed recovery' has occurred when a logic versus fear session is about to begin in my mind. Should I shower? Should I not?

Well, I guess shower wins all the time. Shower before bed. Oh, I also have to pack. Shower and packing before bed it is then.

Love Always

Huda