How to Survive a Host Club | OHSHC

I'm Never Visiting Nekozawa's House Again

Dinner had been tense. And awkward. Overall, it was rather uncomfortable to sit through.

In the beginning, it hadn't been bad. All I'd had to endure was the Hosts shoving plates of exotic-looking food in Haruhi's face and idle chit-chat circulated by the twins. Then Tamaki appeared. I had been seated next to Haruhi at the time but quickly vacated my seat when I saw the determined look in his eyes. Honey had taken the opportunity to help me out of a tight spot as the twins fought to throw me into the chair between them. Luckily, when the twins held me out of Honey's reach, Mori swooped in and safely swept me to the free chair beside Honey.

The rest of dinner included Tamaki spitefully snatching any and all food Haruhi set her eyes on, until Haruhi broke into the crabs. She'd snapped each leg open by hand, sending waves of chills down my spine with each unnatural sound. How she was so brutally strong while also comically weak was beyond me.

When she'd offered a leg to Tamaki, we all quickly learned that it was completely sucked dry. Angrily, Tamaki had attempted to pilfer some food from Haruhi's plate but she'd chased him away with her steak knife, and that escalated into Tamaki abruptly standing from his seat and storming away.... after getting Kyouya to give him instructions on how to get to his room.

I would have laughed had I not been choked with the tension still thick in the air.

After dinner, Haruhi and I (though mostly Haruhi) received a stern (adorable) lecture from Honey, which convinced Haruhi we should apologize to Tamaki-sempai. I agreed.... almost.

Before the words were even completely out of my mouth, the remaining Hosts had smothered us in a hug. That's when Haruhi complained of being nauseas. I offered to help her to the bathroom (though I myself was indubitably lost as well) but was beat to the proverbial punch by Mori, who gathered the sick girl in his arms and sprinted for all his graceful form was worth down the nearest hall....

And then we ran into a mysterious blonde dude.

It was not Tamaki.

We all crashed around a corner, only to hear a startled shout that, to me, sounded eerily familiar: "What's wrong?! What happened?!"

A tall boy with golden blonde hair that fell gracefully around his sharp chin and startlingly crisp blue eyes stood before us in nothing but a thin purple robe that fell open slightly to show his pale chest.

I'm dreadully ashamed to admit this, but I believe I may have started drooling before I realized who it was.

"Uh... who're you?" the twins chorused. The boy stiffened in shock and looked down frantically at his appearance. Blinking in agonizing confusion, I took a slow step forward and peered curiously up into his face.

Realization dawned on me, and my cheeks colored an alarming red.

"N-Neko-kun?" I ventured shakily.

Before he could answer, a maid appeared behind him, arms bundled with a heavy-looking load. Together with a random butler that popped up and scared the shit out of me, they draped a well-known purple cloak around the blonde's shoulders and fitted a dark brown wig over his beautifully golden hair. He turned to us with that knowing, creepy smile of his, brandishing his cat puppet, Beelzenef for all to see.

"What's wrong....?" he repeated less urgently. "Even Beelzenef was surprised...."

"Ah...."

"Mori-sempai! Micah's going to faint again!" I only realized I was swaying, falling when Hikaru boredly pointed out my misfortune to Mori and his arm was inches from encircling my waist. I managed to pull myself together at the last moment and planted my feet more firmly on the ground. "Fine, I'm fine," I told Mori, though even to my own ears I sounded uncertain. Then I looked to Nekozawa's smiling, hidden face and forced the bewlidered frown off my lips. "Uh, Neko-kun, Haruhi needs a bathroom. Now, actually," I added hurriedly, hearing some very.... unsettling noises gurgling from said girl's stomach.