This is Not the End (Clexa)

Chapter 11

"But Heda..."

Lexa raised her hand, cutting Indra off. "I already made my decision about the barricade. That is the best we can do now. We must wait for the Sky People to take care of their own business."

"You put much faith in the Sky People... in Clarke."

Lexa had to hold her tongue, for anger was slowly beginning to bubble beneath her surface. Indra was becoming a little too comfortable with her words. But Lexa knew that she could not let her feelings for Clarke take over her diplomacy. "I have seen her strength. I have seen her fairness and her passion for her people. She would not make a careless decision. This, in turn, benefits us as well." She looked at Indra and softened her stare. "There are good Sky People. You have seen it, Indra, as have I. We have to trust that the good will overcome the bad." She paused, thinking of how to phrase the next sentence. "And if it turns out that our trust was misplaced, or that the good need our assistance, then I will be the first to take action."

This seemed to satiate Indra's fears as she slowly nodded in agreement. The crease in her brow, however, was still visible and the corners of her lips remained pulled down into a solemn frown.

Lexa sighed, "What else, Indra?"

"As I said, I also worry for you, Lexa." This caused Lexa to lift her head to meet Indra's gaze. Indra rarely referred to her by her name. She is lucky that we are alone. Indra would never dare address her by anything other than her title if others were present. But Lexa knew that she was only speaking from a place of care, from her heart. And she had to give Indra credit from letting her emotions show because it was so against what their people believed in.

"You do not need to worry about me." Lexa retorted, a little more harshly than she had intended to.

"You remember what happened the last time... I witnessed what happened the last time." Lexa's body reacted, anger and guilt taking hold. She fixed Indra with a poisonous glare. She did not expect her to dare bring this up. Had it been anyone other than her trusted advisor, their tongue would have been detached from their throat before the thought was even completed. Indra did not back down, however. "I watched as you broke, as the light left your eyes, as everything changed. I was afraid that you would never come back. I even feared that you would no longer be able to fulfill your duties."

I would never turn my back on my duties.

"But then something happened and you came back stronger than ever. It was as if that horrible event brought out an even better leader in you. You formed the Coalition, you even somehow managed to allow the Ice Nation to join, and despite what happened, you became the fairest, wisest, and strongest Commander there has ever been. You matured so much."

If only Indra knew the true sacrifice, Lexa thought to herself sadly.

"I knew what changed, and I wish it hadn't been the case. I saw as you closed yourself off from everyone, how you hid your heart. But that is what we do, as warriors. It strengthened you. Do not be angry with me, Heda, but I was glad that you did this. For you would never feel the pain again. And nobody could use your heart against you anymore."

It appears she does understand the sacrifice. Lexa was in awe of Indra. Yes, she could usually read her emotions through her actions, for Indra was never one to keep anger or hostility bottled up. The other emotions she could read in her eyes. But actually hearing Indra express herself was mesmerizing. Am I becoming too soft? Lexa almost had to remind herself of everything she had learned growing up as a Grounder.

"But now it seems that the Sky girl has managed to find her way into your heart..."

How can she possibly know already? Lexa was stunned at Indra's intuitiveness. Or perhaps she had not concealed her feelings as well as she thought she had. Lexa sighed. She could not lie to Indra, nor did she want to. "It will not interfere with my duties, Indra," she reassured her warrior.