All Over Again • a Lexa/You Fanfiction

seven » confessed

It was weird.

But they were dead now. I had no choice to kill them. They were bad, evil, menacing people, and if I didn't kill them, they would have killed us.

Right?

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I did indeed head back to my room. I needed to sit down and get my mind off my actions.

Entering my temporary bedroom, I headed to my bed and sat on the mattress, pulling my backpack from underneath the frame. My things were still inside, untouched since arriving here. I was still antsy to visit my phone and view any things that I hadn't already. There were so many applications on there that I wanted to go through, hoping they would jog my memories, but there was only so much battery life left on the device.

Turning on the screen, I unlocked the phone and allowed the several applications to digest in my mind. Which one did I want to visit first? Hmm...

"What're you doing, Y/N?"

I jumped, startled at the sound of Raven's voice coming from my doorway. I looked up and saw the mechanic leaning against the door, her arms crossed over her chest and both of her eyebrows raised with surprise. Her eyes were trained on me, and from the look in her expression, I knew she didn't want me to lie.

"Uh, I, uh–"

"What's that?" she asked, nodding towards the phone in my hand, which I forgot was there. She walked towards me and sat beside me on my bed, looking down at my phone.

Licking my lips as I tried to formulate yet another lie to the girl, I said, "It's my phone. You know, the thing you use to ring other people and talk to them when you–"

"I know what a phone is, Y/N," she cut me off, waving her hand dismissively. She motioned towards the device again. "But where did you get it? We don't have them anymore."

I chewed on the inside of my mouth, feeling my hands becoming sweaty at how nervous I was. Her brown eyes were piercing through me as she awaited an answer, and as each elongated second passed by, I felt guiltier and guiltier for lying to the only person who had made the effort to befriend me here.

"Well?" she pressed, growing impatient.

I released a deep breath, my shoulders hunching over as I played with the device in my hand. I kept my eyes on my phone as I spoke quietly.

"Raven, I have something to tell you," I began, hoping this would have a positive result in the end. "Please don't freak out, and please don't hate me for not telling you. You just– you have to understand that I'm still confused myself, and I wasn't sure if I could trust you yet."

Glancing up through my eyelashes, I saw her furrowing her eyebrows together as she tried to understand what I was saying.

"Uh, okay," she spoke with confusion. "Go ahead."

I took a deep breath before diving right in. "I was experimented on in Mount Weather and I don't know what it was for, but all I know is that they cleaned my memories and I don't know who I am."

Her eyes widened slightly, and I could tell that she had no idea what to say. Probably wasn't even sure whether to believe me. So, to prove to her that I wasn't lying, I pulled the file out of my backpack and held it out to her with shaking hands. She glanced down at it, at me, then took it reluctantly. There was a momentary silence as she read through the file, and I studied her expression, noticing the realisation seep through as each word was processed in her mind. Once she finished, she placed the file on my bed and released a deep breath.

"Well?" I asked quietly, unsure what else to say.

She looked to me, though not with anger or pity, but in fact, the exact same way she always had been. That reassured me a little.