AMACon 3: Oikos, a 30 day drabble challenge

Day 25: Too late

Revised a little from my Twitter entry:  I added Maine's name here from the Drabble I posted on Twitter just so it made more sense.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She came up behind me. I could feel her presence, like a shadow looming over me. Her hair slightly disheveled like mine. Her eyes as dull as when I first met her.

It's been three years. Three years since she started following me around. I've actually gotten use to her. She keeps me company although she never talks.

She came to me without warning, right about the time my old companion Fear left my side.

At first she wasn't easy to deal with. Everytime she saw him or anything that was associated with him, she would envelope me with her sadness. Sometimes I would feel her pinching me or squeezing me a little too tight that I had trouble breathing. She wanted me to acknowledge her presence. Regret, that was her name.

I tried to reason with her. That it was for the best. I had always been afraid to take my relationship with him further. He wanted to make it work, and although it could have been possible, Fear would always whisper to me that it couldn't. When I finally let go of him, Fear also let go of me. Only to be replaced by her.

She probably resented me for the longest time. She kept trying to get him and I back together, but I'd always resist. After a while, she stopped bugging me. She'd still follow me around but she mostly kept to herself. Casting sideway glances at me once in a while. Sometimes I'd even forget she was there.

Until today.

I was sorting through my mail. I used to read all of them but lately I couldn't be bothered. There was usually nothing interesting among them. Except today. A thick cream colored envelope stood out. My name, Nicomaine Mendoza, was written haphazardly; as if whoever wrote it wasn't sure they wanted to address it to me. Almost like an afterthought.

I slowly opened the seal and pulled out the card. She approached me, quietly, coming from behind. Curiosity had gotten the better of her. At first, she merely glanced over my shoulder, wondering what it was.

As I read it out loud, I felt her take over my space, overpowering me as her hands gripped the sides of the card. Over and over her eyes scanned the words. I could feel her heavy breathing.

She flung the card down on the table then I felt pain. It was as if she plunged a knife straight into my heart. Twisting it to make sure I knew it was there. Pushing it deeper, making sure it wouldn't be easy to take out.

Then for the first time, she spoke, "It could have been you. It would have been you. You should have tried harder..."

Echoing through my head as drops of fluid fell on the table, onto the card, permeating through the thickness of the paper...

...request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their children

Richard Jr and...

I couldn't see the rest. It was all a blur. Only one thing stood out. His name was now saturated, almost like it was weeping, calling out in sorrow. As if wanting to reach out and tell me how sorry it felt for the way things turned out.