A Little Mad

Chapter 13

I'm staring as Jazz lies in the snow next to me, crying and crying and crying. She is in a little ball, and is only wearing a sweatshirt and jeans. She must be soaked and cold, she could get sick. But she won't leave.
Why won't she just leave?
"Time is of the essence, Danny." The deep voice rattles my brain. I stare at my fading hands, the sirens were fading and the world was glowing white. My mouth felt dry and my body felt very heavy for being nonexistent.
"I-If I let you-" I manage to squeak, my ears feeling like I was going up in an airplane. "-you possess me...You'll be g-good?"
"Maybe." He smirks like an asshole. "Maybe not." I bite my lip and look at Jazz's crying face. The sirens keep fading but I could tell they are almost here and everything has a white faded edge to it.
"Danny I'm sorry." Jazz's voice whispers. "I should have been there. I should have listened to you I should helped you. This is all my fault..."
"No Jazz-" I call but she doesn't react. Even my own voice sounds faded as the light grows brighter. "Please it's not your fault. Jazz please it's-"
The sirens smacks my ear at full forces and my skin jumps jumps. I squint against the light to see the ambulance and fire trucks skidding to a stop on the icy rode.
"Times almost-" a slick voice starts.
"Just do it!" I say, shaking. "Just make my friends happy again."
"You sure?" He whispers through the thick water around my ears. I go to cry but no tears came out. I was too gone for anything to happen to me. The world was flashing before my eyes, my life was fading.
"GO!" I shout. "Fucking go and mess up my life. I just c-can't die!"
"Very well." He clears his throat and the world flashes to white.

---

"Danny c'mon!" I hear Tucker shout. I look over to see Tucker gesturing me to follow him. But it wasn't me, I was dead. Gone. No one could see or hear me. It was like I wasn't here at all but I was. I was here. I've been here for every grueling moment. But that didn't matter. Tucker didn't notice me, no one could. He was just calling over my body, haunted by a psychotic ghost who didn't even bother trying to talk to me anymore. I was just... There. It was like watching a movie, 24/7, 365 days a year. Where you stare at your best friends with blank eyes and just absorb what's happening, nothing more and nothing less. You couldn't stop them from getting wrong answers on the test. You couldn't keep your best friend from making out with you. You couldn't stop your sister from never leaving you alone.
All I could do was watch as my life unfolded before my eyes, everything I've been looking forward too had gone by in an instant. Gotten drivers license. First homecoming dance. First kiss. First date. My life was just great with out me.
And yet I watch.
At the beginning it was hard adjusting, I think. I don't know I don't really care these days. I think it was hard learning to keep my mouth shut, no one could hear me anyways. Maybe it was hard to stop screaming when your sister almost got hit by a bus. Sam got tapped by a car a few days ago and I didn't even budge. Why bother, me yelling wouldn't have done anything anyways. I guess it was hard to stop crying when I felt like I was missing out on stuff. Who cares that the ghost gets to make out with Sam and not me? Even if I wanted to, I'm dead. Who fucking cares?
Not me.
I did, never will. I feel as dead on the inside as he outside, so why bother. I'm dead, gimme one good reason why I should even try? I felt like I was eternally sleeping, i found a way to latch myself onto my former body so I move without effort. But no matter how hard I try, how hard and feel dead inside I can't leave. I won't live in the ghost zone. I can't leave them.
And I don't know fucking why.
And I no longer care.
I stare as I walk through a park with Tucker and Sam. While Sam wrapped herself around my arm like a fucking slut, Tucker strolled along and made eye contact with girls with a nod. I think they used to laugh at him, but now they all twirl their hair and stick out there asses. What a pain.
They all wore their winter gear, Sam sporting her earmuffs and my red jacket. I casually strolled in a T-shirt like it was summer and not Christmas. Tucker wrapped a scarf around himself tightly, scared of sneezing in a girl while giving mouth to mouth.
I feel my crackly, translucent skin break into a slight smile, I actually wonder if that was still a fear of his? It brought me some joy but soon that feeling rushed out of me and I sulked in my metaphorical hole again. It was hard to feel happy while the world around you was happy too. Happy moments make you feel happy until you think about all the bad things that happened to get to that point and that moment sucks everything out of you quickly.
But who cares. Not me, I'm dead.
"I love winter." My ears shake as Sam smiles at the lights dangling around the trees. I can't even remember why they are there anymore.
"Same." My deep voice rips through the cold day. "It's the msg wonderful time of the year."
"Oh don't lie dude." Tucker elbows my body's shoulder. "You hate Christmas."
"Huh how?" Sam says with stars in her eyes.
This made me care less then ever before.
"Uh you don't know about 'The Fight'" Tucker says with a dramatic tone. That nearly killed me, and I'm already dead.
"Dude I've been his friend since before the 8th grade!" Sam scoffs. "I know about the fight!" ***
"Guys lets not talk about this now." I say with a smile. "C'mon we can go back to my place, maybe grab some coffee on the way back its cold as hell out here."
"Hell's hot dude." Tucker laughs a little.
I let out a huge laugh that cuts into my own ears as some people laugh. "Oh Tucker."
And I walk away.
"What?" Tucker runs after me. "What I say?"
"Guys!" Sam says irritated and chases after them.
"Huh." I mumble as I float with the chattering bunch. "They real haven't changed that much in 3 years."

*** this is a legit plot hole in the show that nearly killed me and they do this all the time. They've been friends since before 8th grade and yet Sam doesn't know about The Annual Christmas Fight and Danny didn't know about Tucker's hear of Doctors... Like shit they must be the worse friends ever
Idk... I felt like ranting

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