Positive | Lauren Jauregui | *ON HIATUS LIKE 5H*

24 : You Deserve Better

Lauren's POV

I paced around the room only to see y/n carrying bags from outside the window — am I crazy? Did I get pregnant for a reason? No. Now I just sound stupid. In one hand she had a bag of groceries and in another she had flowers — I don't know if it was me being nervous or just the baby being hungry — I shook my head. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I said. Why else would she take me to a trip like this?

I-I'm not ready.

I was never ready to have sex , and get pregnant and then get proposed to. Maybe she's not even proposing. But why the huge gesture of the taking me all the way to my dream place?

"I'm here babe." I heard from downstairs – my thoughts must have driven me away from reality. But now it was time to face it. "Sorry did I wake you?" I heard as I came down the stairs — rubbing my left eye in case of any stray tears — sometimes tears would just shed out of me for now reason and I hated it. "N-no your fine." I said. "No , my princess is fine ," she winked and walked up to me after dropping the bags on the table. She kissed my temple and I blushed. Her arms slithered around me.

I stood there my arms not being able to wrap around y/n's with this stupid feeling in my stomach , the feeling of guilt. Ally was right she was such a good person , she doesn't deserve me. She deserves better , I pulled away awkwardly – something I wish she did so I wouldn't be here today... Maybe it was destiny , maybe the positive sign on the damn pregnancy test lied to me , making me think this entire time it meant my life would turn over in a positive way – not questioning myself about being in love with a perfect girl like this.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Y/N asked and I looked down avoiding eye contact , she leaned down to look me in the eyes and I avoided them — her accent brought tears to my eyes. "A-Are you okay?" She said and I shook my head –she tried to pull me in for another one of her undeniable hugs.

But I resisted.

"Y/N..." I said my voice breaking along with every "I-I..." I couldn't seem to make the words fall out.

"Lauren? Babe. Tell me what's wrong." She said and I made the same mistake I did before by looking into her eyes "I-I'm seeing somebody else." I made up — it slipped out so easily and quickly , her jaw opened — and my heart broke.

"Y-You're what?" She stuttered out and took a few steps away. "Y/N..." I said I had fucked up — everything good that ever happens to me I always seem to mess up. I wish this was an exception but it wasn't. I didn't mean to break her.

I meant to free her.

Before I could react she shook her head and muttered something under her breath. "What?" I asked and she shook her head again. "Y/N..." I said "stop." She said "I took you to Peru...to ask you to move in with me.." She said and my eyes widened "I-I bought this mansion...w-where. Lauren. We could have started a family there..." She said "I-I needed to take you somewhere so I could distract you while they were finishing up last touches..." I wanted to punch myself in the face. I was so god damn stupid.

"A-And..." She started.

"This." She pulled out a small box as well – what I was waiting for , what I ducked my relationship up for. For a stupid box. She didn't open it — and I never looked away from it. "I-I'm sorry..." I whispered. I was sorry for being a jackass and being too afraid for commitment. For being selfish. For putting myself before the baby for God fucking sake.

She sighed , "do you want coffee? I bought unsweet strawberry lemonade your favorite." She said with no emotion in her voice "y-you remembered?" I asked and she nodded already pouring me a glass. "Yeah." She said again no emotion , her face looked peel and I sighed.

"Here , bab—" she cut herself off — "sorry." She said and I looked up at her with sad eyes , I could kiss her right now , but something in my heart chose not to. I know see it as my enemy. "Where are you going?" I asked her as she walked up the stairs "I'm going to watch tv upstairs..." She said — "come watch it with me on the couch." I said "I...I can't." She said softly , I had barely heard her — "holy shit..." I whispered to myself.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart..." I whispered to the baby in me — "mommy's a fuck up I know..." I said "but it's going to get better I promise..." I said a few tears shedding from my eyes — I looked over at the kitchen table wear y/n had left the black tiny box . I walked up to it slowly to open it and when I did I saw the ring. The one I was afraid of for so long... Now that I'm looking at it , I think back to that night , the night where I lost my virginity and now I'm here... The night where I lost the best thing I've ever had...

A/N :
This twist is meant to be , you'll see why later ;) don't hate me