The_Crush_

Life Phase - 1

Maybe it is not the truth. Maybe I am just thinking a lot. Maybe what I heard was all a lie ..but why would she lie to her doctor.

I still cannot forget the words she said when the doctor told her about her condition "You know it was dangerous. I told you that at this age, pregnancy is difficult. Too many medicines can harm your system."

I had stood at the door, hearing the words coming out of her mouth. Utterly confused about what she was saying and dreading the next line.

"I didn't know it would be that difficult. My sister never had this problem."

I remember thinking to myself, Sister? Which sister? She didn't have any sibling except Uncle Barry.

"Yeah. That is because she was young. You are 48 and this was your first pregnancy."

I continue to drive while simultaneously trying to forget what had happened just fifteen minutes ago.

"Mace, I..." My mom says hugging Sophia to herself then she starts crying again.

I park the car to the corner of the house and say, "Why didn't you tell me? Why would you and Dad hide something like that from me?"

She presses her palm to her lips and let's out a silent cry.

"Your father never wanted you to know this. It was better this way," She says then waits for my reply.

"Your father?.. Is Dad my real father?" I ask in a whisper, praying from every last part of my heart that it was true. I lost my mom just minutes ago. I cannot take another huge shock.

"Yes. Well, your mom ..why don't we talk inside the house." She says and starts to walk inside the house.

"I can't..I won't. I just need to know the truth then I will go."

Either she sees the stubbornness in me or she just has no other options but to relent because she tells me the biggest truth of my life then and there on the pedwalk.

"Your mom was my sister, real sister. She was an year older and married your father just an year before you were born. She loved you. Everyone loved her. Your dad worshipped her and when you were born, ..." She pauses then smiles, "You were so beautiful. All red hair and green eyes. You looked just like your mom. Three months later, my sister met with an accident. A car accident. She was a little sleepy and she dozed while driving. She died almost instantly. You were so small. You needed care and love. Your father was depressed. He couldn't take good care of you so my father asked him to remarry. I stayed with him to take care of you and after a short period, I fell in love with him. We married when you were six months old."

I realise a moment later that I am not breathing. I turn while taking huge gulps of air and trying to eliminate the past half hour off my life. I cringe when I remember the past then turn back towards her to ask one last question.

"Why didn't you try to have a child before?"

She blinks back tears and says, "I tried. Your father and I tried but I couldn't. So this time when I finally became pregnant.... I was just so happy. I know Mace, I know I never loved you as much a mother should have but I couldn't. You always reminded me of my sister and the child I couldn't have. I always thought of you as my sister's baby, not mine."

I nod realising that my hands and jaw are shaking badly. I am in shock, terrible terrible shock. Somehow I am in my car and driving slowly towards my house which is far but officially my only house. I cannot pardon my dad or his wife after knowing about this lie.