Let Me Love You

45

I inhale deeply and flutter my eyes open as I wake, my legs stretch out and I lift my head off my pillow to better examine my surroundings. I see a big wet spot on the pillow where my eyes were, had I been crying? I did have a bad dream last night, maybe I cried in my sleep. Thank god it was just a dream and Justin did not actually come over. It was so realistic and poked such an new and open wound, I miss him, I will not lie to myself anymore. I miss Justin and a part of me wishes that dream was real, but I will not allow myself to fall in love with some A-list celebrity who has his head in the clouds. That is not who I am. I will not compromise myself for the sake of, what Justin claims to be, "love". I breathe deeply and sit up as I rub my tired eyes, my feet press against the cool wooden floor and I spot some shoes that are not mine. They are male shoes. Justin's shoes. Justin was here, it was not a dream. How did he get in here?

I grumble to myself and throw my hair up in a bun as I stand to my feet, I grab his shoes and march downstairs to throw them in the hallway outside of the apartment. He intruded into my home, my bedroom, made me cry, and he had the nerve to leave his damn shoes here. I go downstairs and head to the door, Alexa and her boyfriend are sitting on the bar stools eating breakfast. Their conversation cuts off and silence fills the room, but I ignore them.

I open the door and throw Justin's shoes in the hallway, they tumble around and go in separate directions. I shut the door harshly and turn around to go back upstairs.

"Ari" Alexa speaks up, I turn my head to look at her and I see her and Shane sitting on the bar stools, and another figure behind them. Justin. He watched me throw his shoes out in the hallway, a part of me wants to be embarrassed but I am not in the slightest. Justin cheated on me, he should not even be here. Why is he still here?

"Hey" Justin swallows awkwardly and smiles

"Justin made breakfast" Alexa chirps to fill the awkward silence

"Oh great, did he put his dick in it too? Since he seems to get turned on by everything" I hiss, making everyone get quiet.

"Ariana, please," Justin sighs, "I'm just trying to apologize"

"You already did that last night, and I didn't even want your apology. You intruded into my room and woke me up at five in the morning, made me cry, and then had the audacity to stay" I stomp my foot

"Well..." Alexa claps her hands together, "Shane and I will just go back to my room" she says and holds his hand to lead him away. They pass by me but I don't take my eyes off of Justin's, they easily pierce through his soft pitiful eyes.

"Um, do you want some eggs?" He lifts a pan to offer me some

"No. I want you to leave" I cross my arms

"Just tell me why you're so mad" Justin groans and sets the pan down on the stove and walks over to me

"Why am I mad? Are you fucking kidding me?" I laugh

"That was a stupid question, I take it back" Justin stops me before I continue to yell at him

"Yeah it was"

"Baby, I'm just super confused. I don't know what you want from me" he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair

"I don't know, maybe be loyal to me? Since you clearly like me and I clearly like you"

"But you weren't even my girlfriend, you made sure to remind me of that every single day. It came off as if you never would be my girlfriend and maybe I got a little upset" Justin shoots back at me, catching me a little off guard

"What do you mean I was never going to be your girlfriend? Justin we see each other every day, we constantly flirt with each other, and we constantly do boyfriend and girlfriend things. What about that doesn't scream relationship?"