long distance » cake

ten

look how happy those dorks are before (her name is too irrelevant for me to say) came and ruined it all, im salty.

luke:

i stare at the phone in my hand, thinking about the insanely awkward conversation i just had with calum. did i wake him up or something? i dont know, i decide to brush it off for now, hoping calum will keep his promise and call me back later. i glance at the clock which reads seven, so i decide it's time for some dinner. im dressed in joggers and and old t-shirt, my work clothes strewn across the floor. ill pick them up later. for now, my top priority is food. walking into the kitchen i throw open the fridge, digging around looking for something remotely edible. in the freezer i find a frozen pizza, score! popping it into the oven, i turn on some music, pleased when drown by bring me the horizon comes on shuffle. im singing along slightly, feeling a little emotional when i recall that it was calum who showed me this song. calums been away fr almost 3 months now, it feels longer.

im so lost in the music, i barely hear my phone vibrate with a text:

jayred: hey cutie, wats up?

i smile, before typing out a reply:

lucifer: nm just making dinner, hbu?

jayred: watching a movie, pirates of the caribbean

lucifer: ooh i love that movie !!

jayred: really? well have to watch it together some time

lucifer: u asking me out on a date before we even went on our first 1?

jayred: maybe i am

lucifer: cocky much ;))

jayred: oh definitely

lucifer: lol my pizzas ready, i g2g

jayred: okay, byee

lucifer: bye jared, cant wait for friday!

jayred: me too ;)

i smile, locking my phone before settling down onto the couch with my pizza and mean girls playing on the tv. im quoting along with regina george when my phone rings again, talk dirty playing through the speakers. i immediately know its calum, remembering when he insisted i set that as my ringtone for him. sure enough i look down at the screen where it reads incoming call from: ♡My Main Squish♡ which is calum, obviously. i wipe my greasy pizza hands on my pants before pressing answer. "hey cal!" i say into the receiver, ignoring the way my heart is beating furiously in my chest. "hey lucas, sorry about earlier... i had a crazy morning," calum says brightly. i smile, "its fine calum, but what happened?" calum then launches into a crazy story of what happened to him last night. i feel my smile falter as he reminisces last night, getting drunk with michael and almost sleeping with michael and waking up next to michael and inviting michael to be his new roommate.

my heart clenches everytime calum says his name, michael. my worst nightmares are coming true, calum is this close to replacing me forever. "michael sounds like a really cool guy, id like to meet him sometime." i say through clenched teeth, trying so hard not to scream and yell and start sobbing for calum to come back. "yeah, hes great, i think you' guys would be cool friends." calum says. i dont think so. "hey i gotta shower cal, ill text ya later okay?" i say, ive had enough of this conversation. "sure sure," calum says. im about to hang up when he speaks up again. "wait before you go, i gotta tel you something," calum rushes out, "i made you a playlist, its on my spotify, check it out okay? bye!" and with that he hangs up.

once again im staring at the phone in my hand, still trying to comprehend what calum just said, for the second time today. what was this boy doing to me? making my heart all fluttery and my thoughts all jumbled to the point where i didnt know what to say. is it normal for your best friend to make you feel that way? i push aside my pizza, ignoring the face of a paused gretchen weiners on the tv screen and reach for my laptop, logging into my spotify account. i remember when the two of us first discovered the playlist option on spotify, wed make each other playlists for all sorts of occasions. but we havent done that for years. i type out calums spotify username, clicking on his profile, i see his recently created playlists. the newest one which reads: I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU:
i miss you - blink-182
missing you - all time low
chasing cars - snow patrol
homesick - a day to remember
calling you - blue october
dont you ever forget about me - sleeping with sirens
back for you - one direction
no place like home - marianas trench
beside you - marianas trench
miss missing you - fall out boy
me without you (all i ever wanted) - all time low
simple distance - workday release
ocean and atlantic - mayday parade
holding onto you - twenty one pilots
otherside - red hot chili peppers

i dont think ive ever smiled so hard, i click play and you can bet that for the rest of the night i kept that playlist on repeat until i knew it by heart. calum why do you do this to me? you get a new room mate and almost sleep with him then you go and make me a playlist, letting me know youre thinking of me. all i know is that calum hood is going to be the death of me and i think im okay with that.

❁❁❁

i need a friends with benefits situation but instead of sex i need cuddles, is anyone willing to fill the spot? im so tired and i need to do homework but like id much rather write fanfiction :) but omfg this guy who likes me i guess gives me all sorts of anxiety, i wanna avoid him for the rest of my life, he keeps touching me and i cant. i used to like him to, but he gotta take a hint... my back hurts. i kinda wanna make a zodiac acc on instagram but idk, should i?

this chapter is whatever, i made the actual playlist if you guys actually want to listen to it, the link is here-- https://open.spotify.com/user/jesso_/playlist/5U3QjksDtVkyR5eQNNItFU i hope it works and if not you can message me for it, if you really want it. currently listening to in rn haha, i miss my bed. im off to write a geography essay, wish me luck!

q: biggest turn offs?

a: when they're really snooty and know it all like, also just downright rude, the exit is that way. plus, not fun (stoic, serious) and please dress well. thank you. also CLINGY is a big one.

thank you so much for reading and per usual im sending lots of love your way!