Finding Lily

34- Lily

"That's what you're wearing?" Jane was laying on her bed, belly resting on the mattress while her feet moved around in the air. Her elbows were propping her head up as she watched me try on outfits.

This one was a short red dress with matching heels. I had to admit that it was maybe a little slutty. But right now, I didn't care.

"Yeah. It looks good, doesn't it?" My hair was in loose waves that reached down to the open back of the dress, right above my bra line.

"I guess." Jane had that look that she got whenever she thought I was making a dumb choice. I made a face at her.

"Spit it out."

"This just seems a little reckless. Are you trying to get back at your dad for the fight last night?"

I scoffed. "No. This is about me and Jason." This was about a guy who actually liked me enough in that dumb school to take me to dinner. Who was I to pass up a free meal?

"Uh huh. Sure."

When I left the house, Daniel was sitting on the couch. He glanced at my outfit, at the bright red lips, heavy mascara, and low neckline, and didn't say a word. Back when it was just the two of us, he yelled at me when my shorts didn't reach my knees.

Jane was right. I was definitely feeling reckless.

I met Jason at the best Italian restaurant this town had to offer. It was his idea. He said since I was new, I deserved to be treated to all of the best options we had available. One look at the menu told me I would never be dining here again, unless I wasn't the one paying. We ordered four courses, starting with crostinis and an anitpasti before making our way to entree and dolcini. By the end, I was stuffed.

"So Lily, what did you think?" Jason asked at the end of the meal. He was cute enough with his blonde hair and square jaw. He was an athlete, too, which made for a lean body. Barrio's Edge definitely didn't have much diversity, so it seemed like blonde-haired boys were all the rage.

"It was delicious." Especially the pasta. I was a sucker for carbs.

"What would you like to do next?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe go for a drive?" I suggested. We were still in high school which meant we didn't get a lot of privacy. Sex didn't occur in beds, unless your parents were out of town. For most of the kids here, that happened pretty often. Not tonight, though. Not for either of us.

Jason understood what I was saying. I had been making hints at it all night, even though I didn't feel much chemistry. At that point, I didn't know what chemistry even was.

He took me to a secluded spot in the woods. I'd heard about it from Jane. Miles from any kind of house, overlooking Cori. From this distance, Cori almost looked pretty. All you could see was a thousand lights shimmering in the distance, reminiscent of the sun. It was pretty to look at, but not to touch. Not to be too close to.

"You're really pretty." Jason leaned over the middle console to gaze into my eyes. His were blue. Typical. "I've been meaning to tell you that since I first saw you walking through the halls."

That was a lie. I remembered him standing in a group of jocks, laughing at my second-hand clothes. No one there thought I was pretty. Then again, I didn't really need them to.

I grabbed his blonde head and kissed him fervently, eager to get past all of the meaningless small talk. He eagerly obliged. When I skipped over making out and attempted to take his pants off, he stopped me, confused.

"Wait, aren't you a virgin?" Maybe he didn't understand a girl with a take-charge attitude. Maybe he expected me to be shy or self-conscious. It pissed me off but not enough to derail me from my mission.

"Hell no."

There were no more interruptions after that. I could pretend I knew what I was doing thanks to movies or those dumb magazine articles Jane made me read. Initially, it hurt like a motherfucker. I didn't let it show on my face even though I was crying on the inside. I wanted to ride him, and I did. For three whole minutes. I was disappointed. It wasn't even long enough for me to enjoy myself.

When I climbed off, I immediately started to put my clothes back on. Jason was looking at me like I was sex goddess. I, on the other hand, couldn't wait to go home.

"You tell anyone about this, I tell them how long you lasted." I warned. I knew how high school guys could be. Jane warned me about them. She told me they liked to brag about conquests. I didn't care much if people knew, I just didn't like the principal of it.

"Yeah. No one will know." Jason buttoned his pants up and climbed back up the front. His cheeks had a rosy glow to them, forcing me to acknowledge how much of a baby face he had.

Then he drove me home. I didn't kiss him goodnight. Or tell him I had a good time. I thanked him for the dinner and walked up the front porch stairs, making sure I looked put together. It was only ten.

Daniel and Regina were on the couch when I walked in. They were cuddling on the couch together, watching some dumb chick flick. Their eyes barely l raked over me when I walked in. Not a word was spoken as I walked past them.

Jane was more receptive to my return. "So how was it?"

I shrugged as I slipped off my heels. "Shit."

"Well it was your first time." Jane reminded me. She was giving me that cautious look again, unsure of how my emotions were at the moment.

"Guess it can only go up from here."