The Side You Don't See (Yaoi Boyxboy)

7

This morning I felt good. Even though I hadn't made any resolutions or anything like that, it just felt nice that it was a whole new year. Not exactly like a 'fresh start' or whatever people thought about it as...just new. I would get to write a new date on my papers and stuff. However...when I walked into the cafeteria that same morning, the feeling was smothered instantly. It wasn't that the atmosphere was any different or that anyone had said anything to me...but my friends were staring at me. Each one of them that were sitting at the table watched me from the second I walked in, to the moment I had reached the table.

They weren't smiling or laughing about anything...they were all giving me this odd, unreadable expression and it instantly washed out my enlightened mood and replaced it with worry. Had I done something wrong? I quickly wracked my brain for anything that might have caused them to all act like this, but I came out with nothing. So, with a little bit of fear, I asked,

"Uh...what's wrong?" I expected one of them to answer me, or at least hint at the problem...but all they did was exchange glances between one another. I wasn't the kind of person to get irritated easily, but that kind of annoyed me. I was genuinely worried that I had done something and they were all just going to stay quiet? Really? "Come on guys, seriously. What's the matter?" I tried again. There was still a pause, but to my relief someone finally did speak. It was Isaac.

"Uh...so...you came to the party and stuff and...well, you were on the porch...er, I mean you..." He began. He sounded kind of awkward, like he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say. After a few more seconds of this, Karin decided to speak next.

"I think what we should ask is...did you mean to kiss Kizumi on New Years?"

I had never felt the blood drain from my face so quickly in my entire life. Never had I felt my heart literally stop for as long as it had. I thought for a second that I was going to fall over, paralyzed and as white as a ghost. I was still managing to stand on my own two feet though. My stomach dropped as I looked at them, causing me to feel sick instantly. I opened and closed my mouth at least twice before I could nervously choke out words.

"Y-you...saw...that?" I tried my hardest not to turn around and walk away from them. It would probably only make things harder later on. I had to face this here, and now. I was so surprised that Isaac and Karin had even seen. There was so much going on in the house at the time that was extremely unlikely they'd look outside right at midnight and see that one simple kiss. It hadn't even been anything heavy, just a normal kiss.

"Are you and Kizumi, like...together?" One of the girls suddenly asked, becoming brave now that someone had finally said it. I couldn't answer before another one piped up.

"Or did he just do it randomly?"

"If you guys were together why didn't you say anything?"

"It could have been an accident." They started to talk quickly and so much that I couldn't get a single word in at all. Some of them kept asking if I liked him, others were arguing about whether or not it was a surprise. I tried to say something over them, but I was halted as I heard Kizumi's voice behind me.

"You guys are obnoxiously loud." He told them. They were dead silent when he spoke, and my heart had literally escaped and left me. I was so nervous to face him that I almost didn't turn around. When he saw my contorted expression, his twisted up into concern and said, "What?" Normally, I wouldn't have been afraid to say anything to him. I would just tell him and let him react however he wanted and go along with it...but this was completely different. Right now, I was scared. I wasn't sure why, but I was.

"They...they saw that k-kiss on...New Years." I observed his face, feeling my heart racing. I was anxious for his reaction. Was he going to get angry and walk away? Would he beat up Isaac for telling everyone? What was he going to do?

After a moment I realized what he was going to do...or was doing. He was simply staring at me with a flat expression. No anger, no anxiety, no smile...just blank. He was waiting for me to answer. As I came to realize that, I flt myself fall into an even deeper pit. What am I supposed to do!? I kept screaming that in my head, hoping he'd be able to read it on my face. Either it went unnoticed, or he was ignoring my pleas for his answer and silently telling me to fix the problem myself. In a slightly panicked, desperate voice I asked him,

"Well...should I...?" I was suggesting that we tell them, and he knew it. Still, he gave me the same expression, not answering me. I thought for a moment that he was going to leave it entirely up to me, but then he glanced over at them. They all internally flinched a little as he did. When Kizumi looked back down at me, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"If you want." He told me. I felt a wave of relief as he granted permission...it was instantly replaced with a new worry though as I turned back to face my friends. Where was even going to begin with telling them that I had been dating the guy I used to hate so much? Where was I going to begin with telling them I was dating a guy? Even more, how was I going to explain why I was dating Kizumi of all the people in this whole school?

So, with a shaky inhale, I began to spew the details nervously.